After sex gf tells me about sex with a F "buddy" and more

[rumbl3]

Well keep this short. About year and half ago maybe my gf and I hadn't had sex well in about a year or so. Everything feel apart when she got hurt at work and was at home for about 6 months.

Anyway sex stopped when we used to have sex like crazy (we've been together 10 years now 2 kids gonna get married but won't go into detail as to why were not or were not married before that has nothing to do with the relationship). Then she started acting funny hiding her phone in her pocket and sleeping with her clothes on. From what i recall she was never late coming home and was always at work. But her dam phone would go off all hours of the night. We started fighting like crazy then because i was jus tsick of it. Sick to death of getting no attention, trying to talk to her all the time she would just be meaner then hell to me. Couldn't get a conversation out of her if my life depended on it. Don't ask why i stayed i guess i just love her so much and my kids that i hung in there.

Anyway finally after kinda putting a stop to it and i made it clear either you start working to fix this relationship or i leave for good forever. She started to talk a little but she still acted funny. Finally we had sex and after that she comes out with werid stuff. Starts going on about a F'in buddy she had who had a "big back seat" in his cadillac. Then asked me if i wanted to have F'in buddies. Then when i got pissed she just told me she was kidding about the f'in buddies part. Told me i shouldn't be mad. Btw she was messing with him before she met me just to clear that up.

We just had sex not even two minutes before thatl how the hell should i not of gotten mad.

Anyway even now sex is not what it used to be and she seems to only want it about once every two weeks to a month. Before it was at the lowest once a week.

Anyway as for myself I jsut feel like crap i've felt like crap since then i've tried to explain it to her and she just tells me to get over it it's not a big deal. I mean maybe it was just a terrible time in my life my family falling apart on top of my father dieing from cancer right in front of me didn't help it. I need her here fo rme and it just felt like she wasn't at all.

One night before we had a first sex after a year she came back to the computer room late at night after i had it out with her about all the bullcrap with her. She came back crying and hugging me hard. Then i asked what is wrong, she tells me idk sometimes i just think i hate your parents? WTF IMO i always look back on that night as if she really wanted to tell me something else and chickened out.

I just don't know am I wrong for always feeling like i'm worthless, i'm no good in bed, i'm just a mr mom is what i feel like now. I'm a good father lol always have one kid in one hand and another in the other lol. But that's how i feel like i'm just the livin mr mom like maybe she don't want me. She jus tdon't have the guts to admit it or she always tells me how great of a father I am maybe she just wants to keep this family together, more then having a person or the sex or whatever it is she wants.

IDK confused and been depressed ever since then. Feel empty. Or maybe i'm just a nut case that can't let go.

Also my gf tends to be very protective over me, always wanting to know who texts me (which is rare lol). Etc etc. Always says this girl and that girl likes me. ALmost feels like shes boxing me in at times. I just don't know ever since them times I've walked around feeling like i've been wounded and i'm just bleeding out.

I guess i just want to know if i'm wrong for feeling like this? Is it me or is this what i should feel like?

[lovefool87]

Okay, this seems like a pretty serious matter and you are constantly typing "lol".

I tried to read your post twice and all I could comprehend from it was that you guys didn't have sex for a while, your dad died of cancer, you had a couple of fights about her phone constantly going off, you had sex at one point and she mentions something about a friend with benefits having a rather large cadillac (that they had sex in?), and she's protective.

Okay.... And you said that you are "Mr. Mom". Does this mean you are unemployed and she works?

I'd have to say that if I was working and supporting my boyfriend and our kids and he was unemployed, I wouldn't want to have sex with him. The thought of supporting him makes me feel like he is incapable of doing anything, really.

[rumbl3]

No i work 50 to 55 hours a week lately. Never went without a job since i could work.

Sorry terrible typer and lol just seems to come natural. Anyway I supported her during the time she wouldn't lay a hand on me. Mr mom because i am mr mom I'm always at home with the kids she works 4 nights a week. Even when she is home i'm always the one with the kids on my shoulders. Love my kids dearly so don't get the wrong thing.

Basicly she treated me like crap for over a year period. Didn't lay a hand on me. Phone did nothing but ring all hours of the night and what person goes to bed with there clothes on with there phone in there pocket all the time? Something to hide?
Then when i finally just asked about it she deleted all her messages. I never take it into my own hands to go spying or looking i just come right out with it. In the end the whole situation when we finally started having sex again and her telling me all that crap. It made me feel like dirt. To this day i still feel like dirt.

So i'm asking if i'm right to feel this way or am I just crazy? I just feel unattractive, not good at sex, like maybe i should just pack the bags and go.

Not to get to personal but i don't think i'm that terrible at sex either, i mean it's never a 10 minute thing more like an hour and usually she's screaming her guts out by the end cover in sweat. But that's just how i feel now. Like i said wounded and just filled with pain.

[lovefool87]

Well, i hate to say that sex is half of all intimate relationships. The other half is friendship which includes communication. It doesn't look like she is meeting your needs physically, or emotionally.

She is having sex with you again, rarely, but it doesn't make you feel good about yourself, or helping with your connection to her. Emotionally, you are curious as to why she is acting so suspicious. You should really try TALKING to her. Do not yell at her or tell her how you are tired of her BS. You need to sit down and rationally discuss your feelings about your relationship. If you guys find that you just aren't working out anymore, then you should break it off. Not all break ups have to be huge emotionally dramatic displays. Sometimes people just don't get along anymore. Hope I helped!

[rumbl3]

idk maybe it's time for me to leave then. I've tried talking to her. I'm not one to yell or scream unless you push me to the extreme which means you usually have to sit and bark at me constantly. Most the time she just says it's not a big deal and she's sick of hearing about it. Gets mad at me. How can you be sick of hearing about it when you've never discuss it? I'm just debating if she is either really that disconnected with relationships and life to not know that something like that hurts like hell. Or if she tries to dodge the conversation because she don't want to talk about it (maybe did something like cheated,etc). So avoiding it all together keeps it safe. I mean maybe this would go away if she could explain why all this stuff happened. But she just says it's nothing, nothing happened.

With her it will be emotional during that time I started packing my bags and she freaked out wouldn't get out of my way. I'm always a calm guy who never yells so even then i wasn't yelling. But then she begs me to stay. That she loves me.

I just don't get it. At times i know with my father passing it was very hard on everyone. We were all very very close. If maybe that made her freak out. I mean it was hard on me but i knew i had to hold myself together.

[cafu]

I am sorry about that.
bring paper and write what u like or love in your gf " try to write every thing good" then divide the back of the paper to two halfs
in the upper half write the wrong u see in her acting "make it less as possible and means important things"
and in the other half write what will happen in ur life if she correct that mistake

at the end ask her to reply by writing paper like this.

I think u r very good person and she is too but there is misunderstand in between and i feel she don't has good communication skills by speaking


after she reply ask her to "starting over"

MY REGARDS