Well keep this short. About year and half ago maybe my gf and I hadn't had sex well in about a year or so. Everything feel apart when she got hurt at work and was at home for about 6 months.
Anyway sex stopped when we used to have sex like crazy (we've been together 10 years now 2 kids gonna get married but won't go into detail as to why were not or were not married before that has nothing to do with the relationship). Then she started acting funny hiding her phone in her pocket and sleeping with her clothes on. From what i recall she was never late coming home and was always at work. But her dam phone would go off all hours of the night. We started fighting like crazy then because i was jus tsick of it. Sick to death of getting no attention, trying to talk to her all the time she would just be meaner then hell to me. Couldn't get a conversation out of her if my life depended on it. Don't ask why i stayed i guess i just love her so much and my kids that i hung in there.
Anyway finally after kinda putting a stop to it and i made it clear either you start working to fix this relationship or i leave for good forever. She started to talk a little but she still acted funny. Finally we had sex and after that she comes out with werid stuff. Starts going on about a F'in buddy she had who had a "big back seat" in his cadillac. Then asked me if i wanted to have F'in buddies. Then when i got pissed she just told me she was kidding about the f'in buddies part. Told me i shouldn't be mad. Btw she was messing with him before she met me just to clear that up.
We just had sex not even two minutes before thatl how the hell should i not of gotten mad.
Anyway even now sex is not what it used to be and she seems to only want it about once every two weeks to a month. Before it was at the lowest once a week.
Anyway as for myself I jsut feel like crap i've felt like crap since then i've tried to explain it to her and she just tells me to get over it it's not a big deal. I mean maybe it was just a terrible time in my life my family falling apart on top of my father dieing from cancer right in front of me didn't help it. I need her here fo rme and it just felt like she wasn't at all.
One night before we had a first sex after a year she came back to the computer room late at night after i had it out with her about all the bullcrap with her. She came back crying and hugging me hard. Then i asked what is wrong, she tells me idk sometimes i just think i hate your parents? WTF IMO i always look back on that night as if she really wanted to tell me something else and chickened out.
I just don't know am I wrong for always feeling like i'm worthless, i'm no good in bed, i'm just a mr mom is what i feel like now. I'm a good father lol always have one kid in one hand and another in the other lol. But that's how i feel like i'm just the livin mr mom like maybe she don't want me. She jus tdon't have the guts to admit it or she always tells me how great of a father I am maybe she just wants to keep this family together, more then having a person or the sex or whatever it is she wants.
IDK confused and been depressed ever since then. Feel empty. Or maybe i'm just a nut case that can't let go.
Also my gf tends to be very protective over me, always wanting to know who texts me (which is rare lol). Etc etc. Always says this girl and that girl likes me. ALmost feels like shes boxing me in at times. I just don't know ever since them times I've walked around feeling like i've been wounded and i'm just bleeding out.
I guess i just want to know if i'm wrong for feeling like this? Is it me or is this what i should feel like?