Am I right to cut him off..?

[marmalade]

Hi,

Your opinion would be appreciated. I'll make this as short as possible:
Dated this guy for a month then slept with him after really great rapport and him contacting every day. During sex the first time he got pretty rough and it felt a bit like a porn film, and I said 'feels like we just ****ed!, I think we did this too soon'. He was slightly offended and hurt and said so.
After a couple of weeks of humming and hah-ing, he said he just wanted to be friends. But I still felt for him and just wished we'd given it more time as he was absolutely lovely in many ways. However when he was clear he just wanted to be friends, I said I wanted no contact. He said he was sad because he felt I was really special and someone he really wanted in his life.

So I left it for a month then got in touch, we had some good chats and I had started dating another guy which he seemed cool with.
Then I was in his town as I was doing a training course and he said I could crash on his sofa the night before and let's go for dinner.
I dressed ordinary, wasn't trying to be sexy, but the entire time I was with him, he gazed at me, gazing into my eyes, watching how I ate, checking out my body. The next morning I was dressed nice for my course, and he literally couldn't take his eyes off me. When I said I was going he said 'Don't go!' but of course I did. He asked me to text and email and tell him what I had for lunch and how the day went.

We've been in touch for the past 2 weeks since then, but my feelings have not changed, so I told him I did not want to be friends. Again he was really sad and said he really hopes I'll change my mind, he's really fond of me and will stand by me till I'm his friend again however long it takes. I said 'Leave me alone please, we won't be friends cos once I've met someone special, I won't need you in my life'. So that's that. Sent that 2 days ago and of course there's been no communication.

what do you think? Am I being harsh? Is this guy confused?

[girl68]

nah that's fine we all agree if one person is lusting after the other a true honest friendship is out the door.

[marmalade]

the thing is though, he behaves very much as though he still desires me. not just checking out my figure, but watching how I move and do things with fascination, sometimes openly and sometimes trying to hide it.
I wonder if that's something anyone here can relate to - could you find someone really fanciable and feel, as he put it, a really special connection, yet not want a relationship ?doesn't make sense in some ways..

[jessZ]

Hmmm I think you should focus on the new guy. Sounds like he is just after sex really.

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

lmao finaly a guy that adores a girl and worships the ground she walks in and yet still has a problem. Go figure?