I really don't know what to do...

[Luminarch]

Hey everyone,

I'm momentarily in a relationship during 2y.
You could say it has been a rather difficult road but to me it was totally worth it...
We met almost 2y ago. After 3m I became scared. The usual fear of commitment thing.
But almost immediately, I knew that I made a big mistake. So we talked, like friends at first.
After 2m of talking, we went out again. From one came another and we just went for it...
We did really great during the past year. Up until past June.

First you have to know that my girlfriend has a very strange rule during exams.
She doesn't want to see me as long as she has to study. So I only hear her at night over Messenger.
It's hard but I can bear with it.

Now past June she started to ignore me. After the exams, she came to me and said she wanted to break up.
She felt captured in our relationship. She needed time to go out with her friends and to do stuff alone.
Fact is that she spend a lot of time with me. But only because her friends live rather far from where she lives. She also said she still loved me and didn't know what was the right thing to do. So she wanted time out of our relationship
So we broke up.

But after 2 days, she started to text me and go out with a group of friends when she knew I was going to be there. So after a week of texting and working together ( yes, we worked together during summer) I talked to her and said what I felt. She needed time off from me to get in line with what she wanted. After another week of silence and awkwardness, we talked again.
We still were very in love with each other and were willing to fight for what we have. We each said what we needed and told each other to see to it that we don't forget the other one.

Now ever since we came back together, I've seen her twice. We live rather far from each other but that shouldn't be a problem, I think. It has been exams since 14th of August and we're back to where we were.


Now, I wanted some opinions from women about all this. Fact is, I feel kind of used. I do my very best to give her what she needs. But she stays self-centered. She keeps on saying that she needs he own space and a life where she could go back to if things don't work out between us. So I don't know what to do... I really love this woman but i can't handle giving al the time while she stays self-centred... sometimes I think she's really afraid of committing to a relationship (since we are each others real first).

I could really use some insight in this situation from a different angle. Cause all my friends keep on saying that I should let her go. So please Some advice

[kalen]

When a woman breaks up with you she always has a clear reason why.She might tell you or not.But if she doesn't tell you and bullshits like that she is either using you or has the emotional maturity of a teenager (that is if she is not a teenager). My advice, whenever you encounter a woman that tells you "i don't know what's wrong with me but we need to break up" and then comes crawling back, don't let her back in. She probably found another guy and it didn't work out and she now wants to get back to her safe bet. Or maybe the reason was another one , but it's the same thing. If she says she loves you and you can't get at least a partially clear answer from her, she's not worth it and she surely doesn't love you.

[elexis]

I would give her the space she wants. Find other things to fill your time to get her off your mind. Or at least appear busy and unavailable. She will miss you and want you back. Talk to other girls more and give extra attention to other girls in front of her and ignore her. She will go crazy and want you back.

From what you said it sounds like she has no idea what she wants. She loves you and wants you around when its convienent for her and that isnt fair to you.
Sometimes you really get what you ask for and you should give this to her and maybe she will realize you are more important to her.

[Luminarch]

Thx Elexis

I really think she doesn't know what she wants... But it is really hard on me. We're together for 2y and still she can't figure out what she really wants?
And I've been going on doing things on my own and spending more time on my own or with friends... Fact is, she enjoys it. I should do it more often. But I harshly see her once a week and if I'm lucky I can stay over night...
It's just that I'm afraid of being used. I don't want to become the guy who she calls when no one else is busy.

[girl68]

^ you already are that man.

she's not confused at all. she wants the freedom of being single- you're not her boyfriend so this is good for her. when she's lonley she rings you up. you're familair and she does in a way have feelings for you (there just not true genuine feelings of love).

for you it's best to see this as all or nothing.