confused

[love2010]

Its funny when you think things cant get worse they get worse. I last posted my problems when 7 months ago my fiance and girlfriend of 8 years left me after we got engaged and bought our home. It was the worst thing that's happened to me in my life.Three months ago i met a woman through a social gathering and at the time i was still not over my ex,but somehow it turned into something serious quickly.Eight weeks ago we found out she pregnant i was left speechless i didn't know what to say or do, and i just met her. I couldn't believe what i got myself into my life flipped upside. We are currently together and things are going fairly good we do have our differences but who doesn't? I am actually happier with her then i was with my ex in years. we decided to keep the baby and make it work, but i have to live day by day not knowing if its going to work out and now i have a baby on the way with a stranger. I promise to be there in every way and make the best of the situation i am happy to b with her should i be or not? but she is so independent and stubborn and that's where we butt heads. She also has a 7 year old boy and is so much more experienced then me in every way am i wrong for that to bother me? i cant get over the fact how quickly my life took a 360 its horrible and i am afraid i want this to work and be a great dad and stay with her i have faced that life gives you choices , but no matter what what happens happens. what can i do? I am still very surprised that i can have feelings for someone so quickly is that right or wrong? after i found out about the baby i dedicated myself to give her and her son my love. There's so much more detail left to talk about, but i don't have the time i am over my ex i like this new girl we got problems a baby on the way with no set future and many thing i am uncomfortable details about her.

[EvanHadkins]

It sounds like you have made some very tough and very responsible decisions. It can work if you find ways to talk to each other and work out a lifestyle that gives you both some measure of what you want. If you can both say what you want I think it is possible to do better than compromises (we're both are unhappy) and come up with win-wins. This can take time and listening and hanging in there but it does happen - and it's wonderful when it does.

I think it helps to talk about the behaviours you want when you are working out the lifestyle. It is important to listen to each other and your feelings too (this builds a strong and deep relationship in my experience) but when working out the difficulties it has helped me to stick to what we can do.