Help, what do I do?

[tttarrro]

Ok, this might be quite a long post, but -
I'm 17, almost 18, and my boyfriend is 18 (so we're quite young of course)
We've been together for 2 years, but have broken up twice (for a a months time each time)
The first time was because he had a weed problem (smoking too much. Which I also did at that time) and the second time was because we were both tired of the rutine and felt like we were stuck in a rut. Both times, he's come back to me and asked for me back, and I've said ok.
The second time, I asked him to stop smoking weed, and he did.

Now, we've had a rocky road, but the relationship is going pretty well... BUT
We have these problems that keeps occuring, and I don't know what to do.

First of all, I feel that he doesn't show much intrest in me, when we're not together. I don't know what to expect, but I'd like him to call once in a while.. How do I make him do it, without it seeming .. forced?
Second, we're both very tempermental, and get angry pretty quickly, but we usually calm down fast - but I get really .. not scared, but something of that kind, when we fight - because he does stuff like putting all my stuff out on the balcony and yelling at me to leave (we don't live together, but we usually stay at his place.. we both still live at our parents)

I just.. I don't know how to demand the respect that I want, without acting like a total controlling b!tch?
Also, I'm beginning to feel scared that I've been defending this relationship too long, just cause I feel secure WITH him. I mean, I love him and I don't want to be with anyone else, and I don't want him to be with anyone else... but on the other hand, what if this isn't It, but that I just think it is...

Any input would be VERY helpful!!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You seem like a pretty intelligent girl and you seem to be thinking clearly and objectively too.

You want to make him show you attention without it seeming forced? This is fundamentally impossible.

In a healthy relationship, respect is not demanded, it is freely and willingly given.

You are right, you have been defending the relationship too long, and it's probably time to move on for good.