Closing In On a Year Now...

[vashti]

i don't know abott he rest of you, but I have an overwhelming urge to kick this guy in the shins and pants him, just to make him cry.

[BlueChooks]

Dear Christian,
I stumbled upon your post searching the web for healing answers because it has been nearly a year since my ex discarded me and I am still crushed, lonely and can really identify with some of your feelings. I have bookmarked this thread.
Sincerely,
Miss BlueChooks (I have pet chooks that lay blue eggs)

[boobaa]

I left my dragass, lazy, ambition-less husband five years ago and am now married to a wonderful man who is everything my ex was not. We had our second wedding anniversary yesterday. I couldn't be happier. My ex was not the right man for me, just like you were not the right man for your ex. Wake up and smell the coffee, man. The right woman for you is out there somewhere and you're spending all of this time moaning about this woman who dumped your sorry ass.

Pick yourself up and get on with your life.

While everything you said is true, you missed one important point.

She dumped him after three months of marriage.

Seriously, why did she ever marry? Giving out false hopes. This shit deserves to be punished.
Women are comfort creatures, they seek for comfort, they always have to have their comfort zone. Mans world is much different. Women rely on comfort, men rely on everything else that is left beside that work, creation and risks to make this unbalanced life bearable.

[ChristianonLI]

Truthfully the insane things I've said have no place in the world as any legitimate plan of action aside from baseless venting. As much as I would like to punish her I won't.

Chooks I thank you for sympathizing. Vincenzo thank you for trying to get through to me. Giga as always your honesty is appreciated, if a little scathing. As for Vash, nothing you've said has been very nice but I shall refrain from wishing harm upon you as I wish it eternally upon my ex.

[bluesummer]

Christian, you make your own misery, and right now you're serving it up on platters and shoving it down your own throat. Your pain is self-induced, and by acting the way you are you are giving your ex-wife complete justification for leaving you. My ex went on a bender and was sleeping in his car for weeks......when I found that out, I said "thank god he is out of my life". The way you are acting right now, to be honest she is probably thinking exactly that.

Maybe her actions were cruel, but they way you're acting about all this tells me that you don't handle disappointment in life so well. You sound like you have some major depression issues. In that, I can't fault her for leaving. No one should be forced to stay in a relationship where they are not completely happy. It has nothing to do with wanting to rise above mediochrity and everything to do with making your only years on this earth enjoyable. Guess what, even if she hurts you she DOES deserve to be happy, everyone does. I don't wish my ex misery even if I do think he's a douchebag.

That said, you've got a lot of life ahead of you if you don't kill yourself first. Figure out how you're going to make the rest of it happy. You're right, no other woman is going to want you........if you keep up with this self-hating attitude, obsession with your ex-wife, anger, and depression. You are probably more in need of counselling than any person on here I've seen in awhile. Stop the excuses and get on with it. You've just wasted a whole year of your life.

[ChristianonLI]

Yea, and it absolutely, positively feels like every minute after until the day I die will be just as much a waste so long as she doesn't come to her senses and come back to me. So many of you tell me to move on, be positive, love life and all that senseless babble. Well, I could spend the next 20 years thinking positive and getting NOTHING out of it. I could spend the rest of my life thinking that wonderful woman who will save me from this destitute existence is right around the corner, then I die at 85 having never found her. Why waste my time lying to myself like that when I could just admit the truth now? Even if I were perfectly sound of mind and not damaged in any way no woman would ever want me. That's just the way it has always been, long before I ever met Jenn. I was unwanted in high school. I was unwanted all through my 20s, I am unwanted now and that's just how it's going to be for the rest of my life. So why not go out in a blaze of glory enacting my revenge in the form of punishing this awful woman who took away from me the only semblance of normalcy that ever existed in my miserable life?

[Petit Papillon]

YEah you're right... I wouldn't date such boring guy like you. Change your tape, it's boring what you're saying, you're repeating yourself . What's your problem anyway? You wanted to ask for advice or just rant?

[ChristianonLI]

I find that hurtful.

As for advice, if it's not advice on how to specifically turn back time and recover what's mine then ultimately it's not very helpful. It's just advice telling me how to be like the rest of you and I'm not about to be like everyone else.

[Petit Papillon]

...
There is no answer that you would like to listen. All we said is the right thing to do. You have to realize that she's gone and she's not coming back. Everyone fails , but to not waste the fail, you have to learn from your mistake. Analyze , what in your behaviour could have been wrong. For sure this sitting at home doing nothing and playing. No one wants a lazy ass at home. What else? Don't know. Do some homework. Moving on IS hurtful and it will hurt even more if you will not let yourself realize that it's time to move on, she's THE PAST , that life is THE PAST and now, time to head to the future.

[ChristianonLI]

Doesn't anyone get it? I was not supposed to have loved and lost. I was not supposed to have been faced with misery and despair. My life was supposed to work out perfectly, with nothing going wrong, with the first woman I fell in love with staying forever thereby freeing me from the painful rejection that I would undoubtedly face should I have attempted to court any other woman on this Earth. This is not reality and this is not my life. Something went horribly wrong in the universe a year ago which caused some sort of shift in reality away from what it was supposed to be and towards something else, a totally wrong reality that wasn't meant to exist. And now I'm trapped in this new reality, unable to escape or get back to the one I'm supposed to be in. I can't imagine such a horrible disaster being taken lightly or not being freaked out over but if I am to succeed I cannot roll over and accept it. If I accept it then I am no better than anyone else, a powerless herd animal forced along and unable to influence my world. I'll leave that fate to everyone else in the world but I'm not about to be a part of it.

[Petit Papillon]

I felt sorry for you for a second... I don't anymore... You're a hopeless case, you can as well just go away because you're not going to hear what you want to hear ,from us of course We are bunch of happy people that were left before and "SOMEHOW" moved on How did we do it? Wow

[IndiReloaded]

Love hormones evolved to make one crazy. There's no way we'd ever reproduce otherwise.

But combine it with a personality susceptible to addiction and all bets are off. We really need an love antagonist. This way, at least, the decision to reproduce (or not) can be made rationally.

[ChristianonLI]

So as you say, you've been left before. And you're ok with this? You can live with yourself knowing there is another human being out there who once revered you, loved you and was the center of your universe but now doesn't care about you and considers you a mistake from their past? You can go on living accepting this other person eternally insulting you in this way after all I'm sure you did for them? And what I find most surprising, you don't wish to punish them severely for this horrid insult? You don't wish unending misery and pain upon them for having the audacity to cast you aside as though you were no longer of use to them? How can you live happily while being so powerless as to not be in control of the world around you in every possible way?

[Petit Papillon]

I don't care if he considers me as a mistake of his past. He's for sure mistake of MY PAST. I'm glad this asshole is gone. And yeah he's insulting me because I have found happiness short after he dumped my ass. Shrug. He's a loser ,not me and for sure not my current bf ,who's 1000000000 times better than my ex. There's no need to hang on one person in your life. I don't care if I have the power to rule the world. I take it how it is , ups and downs . You're such emo , no surprise that you're lonely, no one wants to spend time with such negative person.

[fi123]

Doesn't anyone get it? I was not supposed to have loved and lost. I was not supposed to have been faced with misery and despair. My life was supposed to work out perfectly, with nothing going wrong, with the first woman I fell in love with staying forever thereby freeing me from the painful rejection that I would undoubtedly face should I have attempted to court any other woman on this Earth. This is not reality and this is not my life. Something went horribly wrong in the universe a year ago which caused some sort of shift in reality away from what it was supposed to be and towards something else, a totally wrong reality that wasn't meant to exist. And now I'm trapped in this new reality, unable to escape or get back to the one I'm supposed to be in. I can't imagine such a horrible disaster being taken lightly or not being freaked out over but if I am to succeed I cannot roll over and accept it. If I accept it then I am no better than anyone else, a powerless herd animal forced along and unable to influence my world. I'll leave that fate to everyone else in the world but I'm not about to be a part of it.

I am a little concerned about your grasp on reality and am quite worried by the tone of this post.

Have you considered going to talk to someone (professional) about how you are feeling? I think it would be good for you....said with the greatest respect to yourself....we all get a bit messed up sometimes x