Parents NOT agreeable

[canadian1983]

Hello,

Me: 27, male, physician in training, middle-eastern background
Her: 28, nurse, caucasian Canadian
Relationship: been going out for 7 months. Known each other for 1 year. About to move in together. Things are going really well. Been on two overseas trips together and had a killer time! We are best friends at heart and agree about most fundamental issues. Our sex life couldn't be any better! I see her as long-term potential but:

The problem: My parents don't agree with our relationship. We are a non-religious middle-eastern family and she's white. My parents agree that she's a great person and has a great character but have serious problems with the following:
1)her age: she's apparently "too old" for me. In our culture, they claim, women need to be "at least 5 years younger". I argue that there is absolutely NO evidence that relationships with a much younger wife fair better, but they argue that she'll age faster and that they want a "beautiful, young bride". They claim that it's all for my best interest but it really seems that they're trying to keep themselves satisfied.

2)she's not pretty enough! "Our son is a doctor and deserves a hot wife!" To be honest, my girlfriend is very good looking and many have commented on her beauty. Plus, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I find her very attractive.

Beside these two major issues, they don't note any other serious problems. There is minor things like she isn't educated enough (she's a nurse and I am a doc) or rich enough (she comes from a middle class family and my family isn't rich either).

My gf makes me very happy and I love her very much. She's my best friend. I just don't want to leave her because my parents don't like her age or looks. I also don't want conflict in the family...it's nice when everyone loves each other and gets along. My parents keep on saying that I because I'm decent looking and a future doc, I'll have line-ups of girls at my disposal and I'll be able to choose "the best girl around". Anyways, what should I do? I don't want to leave her and go looking elsewhere...i'm happy and at peace. I just hope my parents don't wreck my happiness.

[kitkitkitty]

i read about half of this, not cos i got bored but..
1. you're both ADULTS. if you make each other happy where's the problem?
2. your parents are also adults. they should be mature enough to realise that neither of you are battering each other and arguing so you're therefore happy.
3. your parents may have raised you and all that but you can't do what they say for the rest of your life. it'd be like they're re-living their youth through you and that's not right or fair.
you've gotta explain to them that what they think isn't going to change how you feel about her. they're probably just scared that their boy's growing up and they still wana keep you nearby.

[7sins]

If you're happy and at peace, then thats all that matters. Tell your parents that its, not questions.

Raise this fact to them: Your gf makes you happy, loves you. Would they rather you dated her, or lose this chance at happiness and look for a "hot wife" that could be dating you for your money (future money) and future status as a doctor. Is good looking children and a hot wife worth being unhappy over. Also as a doctor, good looks dont guarantee the same traits are transfered? (im asking you, im not a doctor)

Say to your mother its ironic that shes making you look for a hot chic, and that your mother was lucky your dads (her husband) mother didnt make him do the same. hehe

[kitkitkitty]

If you're happy and at peace, then thats all that matters. Tell your parents that its, not questions.

Raise this fact to them: Your gf makes you happy, loves you. Would they rather you dated her, or lose this chance at happiness and look for a "hot wife" that could be dating you for your money (future money) and future status as a doctor. Is good looking children and a hot wife worth being unhappy over. Also as a doctor, good looks dont guarantee the same traits are transfered? (im asking you, im not a doctor)

Say to your mother its ironic that shes making you look for a hot chic, and that your mother was lucky your dads (her husband) mother didnt make him do the same. hehe

i think it's more the case of his parents thinking that no one will ever be good enough for their son. it happens a lot. if she was in their eyes a 'hot chic' they'd find something else to criticize.

[LuvGuru]

I say your parents cant win this one. Your happy, thats all that should matter. Ive never heard where its suggested by family that your significant other should be 5 years or so younger. Im sure when you become a doctor you will have the pick from numerous women, the thing is....this may not be the best...Some women are attracted by $ signs. Id rather have someone in my corner on the way up that to have them standing with me after ive arrived.

[Boisdevie]

You are a grown up adult. You decide. If your parents don't like it then TOUGH - it is your life. If she makes you happy then good luck my friend.

[VincenzoG91]

Doctor, it's time to cut the umbilical cord.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I was going to respond, but nothing can sum it up better than what Vincenzo just said, so I'm not going to try.