can i get my ex back ??

[mike777]

i have been spilt up with my girl for 10 weeks now, i am 30 she is 27.. i have phoned her a couple of times over a month ago to try and get her back but she says that she doesnt want to do it.

basically i neglected her in the releationship we were together for 2 n half year and for some reason i never told her i loved her. and also was unsure if i wantred to be with her and she picked up on it and got fed up of the releationship. I have realised since that I DO love her very much and do want to be with her in my future.... after we talked about it last she told me she didnt care and the next day she texted me saying of course she cares but she is trying to get me to hate her? and that she has alot going on in her life...she also told me that she doesnt want to be with anyone else and just wants to be on her own, she downt beleivce me when i told her that i really did love her and want to be with her, she just will not accept it and kept telling me that i was playing mind games..

more recently i found out she didnt pay a load of bills i though this was on purpose i and texted her saying a couple of nasty things and basically giving her what she wanted which was me to not like her and not talk to her again..

i understand that this releationship is probably well and truly over as i have messed up big time with her but if u have any advice that be much appreciated

[lahnnabell]

Count your losses and move along, buddy. You screwed up and it's very unfair of you to keep calling her and bothering her with the notion of getting back together when she just wants to get her life back on track.

Granted, if she was unhappy, she should have said something. However, you admit to being neglectful, which means you weren't entirely unaware of the effect your behavior had on her.

Now you're crying 'cause you're all alone and feeling sorry for yourself. She has no real way of knowing that you've really changed and most likely feels that trying to reconcile now is only a waste of time. Too little, too late. Sorry, dude.

[Vishal]

Mike, no doubt you messed up big time.. but IF you think she was ever in love with you, you may get her back (If she is not already seeing someone). It is really hard to get an finished relationship back.. but you need to understand her psychology and will have to try to do your best. Stop ringing her as it will just irritate her and will not do any good.. you cant beg a relationship.. you earn it .. and that is what you need to do... If she is special for you and you are really sure... you have to respect her and give her some time to settle things a lil.. after a gap of maybe a month or so try to get in touch with her... by may be texting her and just saying hello .. If you really love her.. just stay around. But one thing if you are playing with her or just want her as u dont have anyone in your life.. u r doing a mistake as u will repent it latter.. Vishal

[kitkitkitty]

if you got back together, it'd be a LOT to move on from and forget. it's probably come up in arguments at some point.
and it's a shame that the whole 'you don't know what you've got til it's gone' applies.

[mike777]

yeah she loved me like crazy , she also wanted marriage and kids with me and kept saying it, i guess it made me alittle scared at times for commitment... hell my parents took us all on holiday together in may and she lived with me for over a year it wasnt like i didnt commit at all.. she just constantly though i didnt want her and i told her that wasnt the case. anyway thanks for the replies

[lahnnabell]

yeah she loved me like crazy , she also wanted marriage and kids with me and kept saying it, i guess it made me alittle scared at times for commitment... hell my parents took us all on holiday together in may and she lived with me for over a year it wasnt like i didnt commit at all.. she just constantly though i didnt want her and i told her that wasnt the case. anyway thanks for the replies

You have to do more than just say, "I want you." Actions speak louder than words. In fact, it makes it worse when you say, "I want you" but act in the opposite manner. Sharing the same space means nothing if you're still feeling ignored. In fact, it also makes it worse. You can't simply think that sharing the same bed makes up for any and all lack of intimacy in a relationship. And I don't just mean sex, I mean the sweet, kind things you do for one another that show you care. I'm guessing you were seriously lacking in this department.

Pay attention to the little things next time around. Girls love to be doted on just as much as guys do. It's those little things that help keep couples strong.

[girl68]

yeah she loved me like crazy , she also wanted marriage and kids with me and kept saying it, i guess it made me alittle scared at times for commitment... hell my parents took us all on holiday together in may and she lived with me for over a year it wasnt like i didnt commit at all.. she just constantly though i didnt want her and i told her that wasnt the case. anyway thanks for the replies

She was dying for attention, love and affection. You ignored her. Going on a vacation and living together for a year at your age isn't much in the way of committment goes.

You didn't ACT like you loved her so why should she believe your cheap words?

Anyways leave her alone. Consider this: "I learned the hard way" as in you lost your loved one and only now do you really understand why.

[Brokenapart]

Mike

Quite a same thing happened to me 1 and a half mnths back, my gf of 3 years broke up with me for the same reason that she got fed-up ,she talked to me in a very rude manner to get rid of me ,she also said she want to live alone.n to get rid of me she said she have broken all of my gifts (but i knw she actually not)

I also messed up situation like you by saying her nasty things coz i couldnot control myslef and as a result she changed all her contacts ...........now everythng is over

now i wish i would have let her go and should have applied NC thn may be she would have been back with me but it happens when someone out of blue dump you .....its natural

i wont thnk after your nasty thngs she will ever come again coz she was already fed-up of you and when a women is fed-up of you she always reminds the nasty thngs u have said to her in past no matter how good thngs you have done for her she always ignore that in such condition plus you have said more nasty thngs that would make her even more happy with her decision of leaving you........now the only chance you have got is give her enough space .......atleast 2-3 mnths n hope that she sont find someone better thn you in that time span otherwise you will be past for her