Woman confuse the hell out of me...

[thebestatit1985]

Ok so this is going to be long and drawn out but everyone's advice would be great.

Alright me and my ex broke up in January after over a year of dating and since then we really didnt talk at all and back in the beginning of August we just randomly started talking again.We seemed to get along and everything was going good I guess.In about the middle of Aug. she came home from school for her little summer break and we pretty much hung out almost every single day she was home.At first it was all pretty harmless and fun but then we we decided to go on a little trip for the day and way to much wine was drank and some things happened and some things were said that may or may not should have happened.After that we were still good and every time after that we made out a lot and messed around that all went on until she went back to school a couple weeks later.And now things have changed big time I dont know if its because shes a couple hours away or what but we are constantly fighting about stupid stuff and I have grown extremely insecure.What I want to know is what I should do about the whole situation? On one hand I really want to continue to talk to her and maybe even attempt to get back with her but on the other hand I really don't know if its worth my time and the heart break.I just do not know what to do and hope someone could help me out.

[kitkitkitty]

you broke up with her for a reason, right? would the past problems still be there if you got back together? i'm thinking it's got something to do with one/ both of you being insecure as you've already said? it's all good and well to be happy when you're together but it's when you're apart that you see the strength between 2 people and it seems that this isn't holding out. i think you're right about the heart break and it's already caused a lot of unneeded drama. you may also be in for an opening up of old wounds. is all of this worth a POSSIBILITY of something MAYBE happening? that's up to you but i don't think it is.

[thebestatit1985]

Thx for the response.I agree with everything you are saying and honestly I think the distance is what killed our relationship the first time and like you said it should make you stronger but in out case it definitely made things really bad.Things were good when we were dating up until she moved away and things went way down hill.Its just really hard for me to just get rid of her like that because of course my dumbass once again developed feelings for her again.I know thats the right thing to do just easier said than done.

[kitkitkitty]

i know how hard it is to detatch yourself from someone who once meant the world to you. what i did was to keep myself busy, on anything i chose. i always say that the hardest bit is breaking the habits as there are things pretty much everywhere that remind you of 'us'. relax and remember it's not the be all and end all, however hard it is now and that anything is acheivable. id say contact her as little as possible, it'll make the drifting away a lot easier for you.

[thebestatit1985]

I dont contact her shes always the one texting or calling me and for some reason I just can't ignore her.

[kitkitkitty]

well you really REALLY need to or this will drag out and neither of you will be happy. if there's not a definite chance of you getting back together then why be faced with the same heart-ache? you're just going round in circles. just send her a txt/ give her a call telling her you can't keep doing this and every time it hurts you more and more. that you care about her enough to know that fighting isn't doing any good and it's just not going to work. she may cry but she'll eventually understand. the problems are still there and you can't ignore it all unfortunately..

[thebestatit1985]

Ive tried to get rid of her but all it seems to do is piss her off because I am ignoring her or something.I just regret even talking to her again and getting myself involved.

[kitkitkitty]

you've got to do this. she's bound to get angry as she's not getting her way. has she ever had this problem before? i'd say write her an email so that you can write down everything you wana say and she can't interupt you. this situation isn't going to last forever but the longer it goes on the more it'll hurt.

[thebestatit1985]

All woman get angry when they don't get their way LOL. But yeah I should write her because it would be the only way that I can get everything in that I want to say. But then again a few days ago she threw me the "I dont think its fair if we date again if I cannot contribute 100% of myself because I am so busy with grad school" so that gave me a glimmer of hope and just makes it even harder for me to not talk to her because deep down it makes me feel like theres a chance it could work again just not how with both of us being extremely busy at the moment.

[kitkitkitty]

if there's not a 100% chance then why wait around? obviously didn't work. you seem to still be trying to make up reasons to stick around which is fair enough but it really isn't worth it. the problems are still gona be there. bite the bullet and tell her like it is.

[thebestatit1985]

I just might be making up excuses.Its just really hard to let someone go that you care for.And no it really isnt worth it because I know what it is going to happen.Im going to end up hurt.

[kitkitkitty]

at least you can recognise it. time to put it into practice now. remember you can't keep talking to her just to make HER happy. you've gotta be a bit selfish here to be able to move on.

[thebestatit1985]

Habits are hard to break I have always wanted to make HER HAPPY and I dont ever feel like she tried to do things for me. Maybe your right maybe I just need to get this over with and get her out of my life and never look back again. I guess if its meant to be one day down the rode we we might reconnect but right now I just do not ever see that happening.She is not worth all the heart break.Thx for all the advice ill let you know how things go.

[kitkitkitty]

it's alright stick to your guns and go for it. don't let the tears win, however much you care about her.