Ladies is it really that easy?

[RayzrShrp]

I was engaged to a girl I lived with for the past 3 years and we were engaged for 1 of those years. She was planning the wedding, bought her dress, had her wedding shower booked the DJ and photographer and sent the cake topper to the bakery. She ended up calling off the wedding 1 month before it was scheduled and told me she doesn't love me anymore and that we were just too different. She was not willing to work on our relationship and moved out 2 weeks after calling it off. Now she won't even talk to me and for some reason seems to be angry at me. Also an interesting tidbit is my best friend who she was also friends with has been talking to her A LOT and after I confronted him about it he got super defensive and deleted me from FB and BBM and won't talk to me anymore. Both of them refuse to admit there is anything going on but I mean come on?

So my question is for the ladies is it really this easy to just shut off your feelings for someone? I was never bad to her never beat her or cheated. Of course we had our fights but I mean it really seems like she called it off so she could get with my friend. WTF? any ideas?

[justcheckin]

Happened to me man, weren't engaged but still... yeah its that easy for some girls. but she prob though about it for a while before she actually did it. I doubt it was a spur of the moment decision. Started datin my "friend" a week later... ended up having a kid with him.

[kitkitkitty]

i think she may have had feelings for this guy but tried to push them aside and did this by getting everything ready for your wedding. then suddenly she realises what she is doing is wrong and she doesn't feel she can marry you so calls it off. coincidence with this other guy i think. personally, i couldn't turn my feelings off that quickly. for whatever her reason, she may simply be not talking to you at all to ensure that SHE selfishly moves on quickly and doesn't think about the pain she's caused you. the fact that she didn't explain anything makes me think that the above is true. i hope you're somewhat ok.

[xxazurexx]

So my question is for the ladies is it really this easy to just shut off your feelings for someone?

No.....not if there were true feelings there to start with.

Females don't just lose feelings overnight.....they've been losing them for a while and all the while you were unaware.

Trust me...if she can fall for another man 'that' easily and fool you in the process with all this marriage pretence, be grateful she's gone

[RayzrShrp]

I'm somewhat OK but the hard part is I lost my girl, my partner and my best friend. I mean ouch. My support structure is pretty much shredded. Also all of our mutual friends seem to be taking this "I'm not getting involved" attitude which in my mind is the same thing as not siding with me so I've had to cut ties with most of my friends.

[vashti]

Well, what exactly are you expecting your friends to do? Call her a whore? Make her wear a scarlett letter on her chest? Spit on her?

What she did was hurtful, but it's between you, her, and maybe your friend (assuming she is seeing him now). People who were friends to you both will not want to pick sides, nor should they have to.

Look to your OWN friends for support.... not people that also like her.

[valhensing]

man, you've got it rough! I congratulate you for being able to get it together and didnt spit one of those "it's very hard for me" "it hurts me a lot".

Try to be gentle with yourself and get over her. She pretty much cheated on you, i assume. I suggest no contact with her, no get back together which i think would probably happen very soon when she realizes they both sucks together.

[Khryalasi]

So my question is for the ladies is it really this easy to just shut off your feelings for someone?

I could easily ask the same question about men. For over a year and a half, I was told that he loved me more than anything, that I was the best thing that ever happened to him, that I was an amazing woman..even better, he told me that no matter how angry he got or how often he walked away, he would always come back..

Well, it's been 6 weeks exactly since he broke up with me, very little explanation really. He isn't seeing anyone else, and still wants to be friends..calls and writes me constantly.

Time hasn't really lessened the pain, I'm still stunned that he could do this to me. Just the week before he broke up with me, I was told how much I was loved and needed.

It's not just women...men can do it, too.

[breacliff]

Nice post. thanks for sharing.

[blent]

How did you get so attached to someone that was able to take you out of their life so easily? Be happy it didn't happen after the marriage I guess. Learn from your mistakes, there are plenty of fish in the sea etc etc... Just know that she's not worth it if she was able to cause you the amount of pain she did. If it's not mutual it's not special!