Did I push him back in her arms?

[Blinded]

My boyfriend and I have been together for the past 2 and 1/2 years. We left our spouses for each other. He had 2 kids and I had none. We realized later that we handled things wrong and should have divorced first (but at the time we were totally in love). After the first year, he started to miss seeing his boys every day and tried going back home for a week. It didn't work out and he came back to me. Then several months ago, I did the same. I felt we were growing apart so I gave my ex husband another chance and got pregnant. He and I didn't work out so my boyfriend and I got back together again. Realizing that both of us had gone home and our love still drew up back together.

He accepted the pregnancy and I thought was fine with it until I discovered in the last month he had secretly been emailing and texting her. He said he was starting to miss his family again and he thought it would be best if my ex and i raise our new baby and he and his ex get back together to raise their sons.

I agreed at first and we thought about it over the next couple of days. He said he had a change of heart and that he really wanted to be with me and I fell for it hook line and sinker! To make a long story short, last Saturday I realized he was playing us both and feeding us both the same lines (i guess to give himself longer to decide what to do). I called and let her know what he was doing and she called and confronted him.

when he came home, petrified that he had lost both of us, he lost it. He made threats and even hit me (which he has NEVER done)

I pressed charges that night and he was arrested the next day. Keep in mind neither of us have ever gone through anything like this before. Ever since then I have heard he is back with his ex. Did i push him back in her arms? I am sure now they are able to bond over how to fight me in court. Did I do the wrong thing? Am I giving them something to work towards together? Will they last because I gave them a reason to get close again? (her "helping" him deal through this)

I am really sad to lose my best friend and my lover, but i feel like she was able to swoop in and rescue him when he and I were at our lowest.

[xxazurexx]

Eh? His ex swooped in and rescued him at his lowest? I don't think so. Sounds to me like he has always been undecided over whether he did the right thing by leaving her...hence is why he constantly keeps on missing his old life and his family, which includes his ex.

Typical cheat....wants to have his cake and eat it too.

I'm unsure what else you expected to come of your affair with him and him being a cheater. If he couldn't play fair with his ex, what made you think he'd play fair with you?

[Blinded]

I see where you are coming from and I agree that yes, he has probably always been undecided. I guess I just feel like I should have fought harder, I keep telling myself it was only a matter of time before he would have probably gone home again

[xxazurexx]

^It probably would've been only a matter of time. Given his own way, he likely would have been happy coming and going between the both of you for the rest of his life.

Rest assured, even though he's back with her, he will only be happy for a short time. If she was the woman for him, I doubt he would have wandered in the first place and it's probably only a matter of time before he's wandering again.

[vashti]

He HIT you. Who cares where you pushed him?

Anyway, he probably WAS better off with his family, and even if HE isn't, his kids probably are better off with a dad around. Yours probably would be, too.

[valhensing]

wow, you both........ cause each other and other ppl lots of heart ache and i dont know how your exes still accept you back... must be strong ones.... or really weak ones

[breacliff]

Thanks for sharing. Just like you, i have been experiencing that also. lol. Just think of this, God has the reason why it all happens.

[blent]

If he hit you then stay away from him. It's as simple as that... I would never hit a woman let alone the one I cared for, regardless of the cirumstances. You've let him take advantage of you already by being with the other girl. Don't let him do it again... he's not worth it.