Ignore her completely or say goodbye?

[thebestatit1985]

Ok so I started talking to and ex of mine about 2 months ago( I know bad move shes an ex for a reason ).We dated for a year and a half and broke up in January of this year.And at first everything was cool when we started talking again we got along there was no fighting or bickering or anything but now we barely talk and when we do we usually argue and deep down it really hurts that we do that I got my hopes up of us maybe working things out and going out again but that obviously isnt going to happen.Now my question is how do I get rid of her? I was thinking one of 2 ways the first being to completely ignore her calls texts IM's and any other way she talks to me and the second being to just tell her goodbye in a nice way and just leave it at that.And I have tried the second one recently and she obviously didnt get it and I feel bad ignoring her.But if that is the best thing to do I will.So tell me what should I do?

[ConfusedAlex]

Ok so I started talking to and ex of mine about 2 months ago( I know bad move shes an ex for a reason ).We dated for a year and a half and broke up in January of this year.And at first everything was cool when we started talking again we got along there was no fighting or bickering or anything but now we barely talk and when we do we usually argue and deep down it really hurts that we do that I got my hopes up of us maybe working things out and going out again but that obviously isnt going to happen.Now my question is how do I get rid of her? I was thinking one of 2 ways the first being to completely ignore her calls texts IM's and any other way she talks to me and the second being to just tell her goodbye in a nice way and just leave it at that.And I have tried the second one recently and she obviously didnt get it and I feel bad ignoring her.But if that is the best thing to do I will.So tell me what should I do?

Difficult situation to be in. My advice would be to meet her one last time, and really emphasise to her that you don't want to continue any contact, and that things are over. Make this is as clear and unambiguous as possible. Tell her that you had some good times together, that you don't regret it, but that its now over and you need to go your separate ways.

If after this she continues to text and IM you, block and ignore her. You've done everything humanly possible to try to explain to her your position, and you can move on knowing you've done the right thing and did the best you could to be fair and open about how you felt.

[thebestatit1985]

See meeting up with her isnt that easy as she goes to school 2 hours away and she doesnt come home much so we always talk either on the phone or text which makes the situation even more difficult.

[ConfusedAlex]

See meeting up with her isnt that easy as she goes to school 2 hours away and she doesnt come home much so we always talk either on the phone or text which makes the situation even more difficult.

Ah, yeah that does make it a lot more difficult. Perhaps you could write an email, explaining to her clearly what you had tried to convey to her last time you met up. And make it clear in the email that you don't want any further contact. And, as always, put some good stuff in so it doesn't seem harsh. I think its easier for someone in that situation if you acknowledge what you had together, that you had fun and liked her, no hard feelings and no regrets, but that you don't feel that way anymore, and that's not going to change. See what her response is; if she writes back that she understands, and won't bother you anymore, then you know you've got it across to her. If she emails back trying to prolong further contact, block and ignore.

I think that its always a good idea to go above and beyond to be fair and very clearly explain your feelings and your position. It seems like you have done that, and that she doesn't get it. If you give it one more go, you will be able to say that you've done everything humanly possible to be fair and open about this to her, and know that you did the right thing. Blocking her after that would not be unfair or harsh, particularly if the way she's trying to contact you is verging on the "crazy ex" type of level.

Good luck with it all, I hope it works out the way you're hoping.