Confusing and abrupt ending to a promising relationship?

[ConfusedAlex]

I'm American. I've just spent the last couple years in France and England and am back in America until next summer.

Not sure what to do about the lack of interest bit though. For me it feels disingenuous to carry on with something if I'm not feeling it straight away, even if I've not meant any harm. There's yet to be a situation where I've slowly developed feelings for someone: it's there or it's not. I guess I can hold out hope until I'm back in France

I know exactly what you mean. No harm is meant by letting these quasi-relationships develop, but you know in your heart there's nothing in it.

Some interesting news, I had some drinks with an absolutely perfect guy tonight, in terms of qualitie3s that I want. Smart, funny, sexy, stimulating, political (he's a lawyer working as a lobbyist), charming... it ended with us at the front door of my building, tongues down each other's throats, him desperate to come up for a shag. I insisted that I wasn't up for that kind of thing first time meeting; I don't know his situation re: whether he's on the rebound or something.

I knew it was time to head upstairs when my neighbors came past and were so enthusiastic about the whole situation..

I'm really keen on him, he's a great guy, but I'm also wary of taking things too quickly. Just want to play it cool, and let things develop naturally. Hopefully I made the right decision, he seemed disappointed, but still keen to meet again...

I guess I'll see whether the interest is genuine or just sexual...

[ConfusedAlex]

Hopefully I made the right decision, he seemed disappointed, but still keen to meet again...

Seems like it was, the texts he sent me afterwards were so sweet, I can't doubt his sincerity. New interests make things like I've discussed above seem so unimportant

[JELEF]

it ended with us at the front door of my building, tongues down each other's throats, him desperate to come up for a shag. I insisted that I wasn't up for that kind of thing first time meeting; I don't know his situation re: whether he's on the rebound or something.

I'm really keen on him, he's a great guy, but I'm also wary of taking things too quickly. Just want to play it cool, and let things develop naturally. Hopefully I made the right decision, he seemed disappointed, but still keen to meet again...

I guess I'll see whether the interest is genuine or just sexual...

Again, spot on. Spent the last 90 minutes of the first 'date' with her lost in a cab at 6AM because she'd written down her friend's address incorrectly. 60 quid later, in front of her friend's, I kissed her good night and she was rather surprised as I was appearing to be on my way. She even said 'you're not coming in?' with a bit of trepidation. How I wanted to do! but I had a math assignment which needed submitting before 8AM. (Ended up with an A+ in Calc II and the French bird the next night, so it couldn't've gone much better really.)

I sent her a text from the cab just after I left saying something like 'I hope I've not given you the wrong impression or made a faux-pas, but I think you're amazing. I really do have work due by 8AM.' I was actually quite chuffed about it in hindsight. I was a gentleman start to finish and it only made the anticipation build for the next night, which ended up being the most epic and intimate sex I've ever had.

So I think you're on the right track lad. If you want more than sex, playing it cool and taking your time's paramount. If he wants more than sex, he'll respect that and do the same. Believe his sincerity until his actions say otherwise.

Maybe I'll have some of your luck soon. The last girl who fancied me since this French affair was the usual: attractive, funny, clever, etc, but that je ne sais quoi was absent.

Best of luck to you Alex! Keep me updated. ...and play it cool

[ConfusedAlex]

Again, spot on. Spent the last 90 minutes of the first 'date' with her lost in a cab at 6AM because she'd written down her friend's address incorrectly. 60 quid later, in front of her friend's, I kissed her good night and she was rather surprised as I was appearing to be on my way. She even said 'you're not coming in?' with a bit of trepidation. How I wanted to do! but I had a math assignment which needed submitting before 8AM. (Ended up with an A+ in Calc II and the French bird the next night, so it couldn't've gone much better really.)

Yeah I didn't want to seem like its some kind of puritanical refusal to have sex on the first date, just a combination of circumstances and experience tells me to hold off. Quite funny that we're living parrallel lives when it comes to dating.

I sent her a text from the cab just after I left saying something like 'I hope I've not given you the wrong impression or made a faux-pas, but I think you're amazing. I really do have work due by 8AM.' I was actually quite chuffed about it in hindsight. I was a gentleman start to finish and it only made the anticipation build for the next night, which ended up being the most epic and intimate sex I've ever had.

Exactly my experience, same texts sent afterwards, and I'm pretty sure that how keen we both are will lead to what you mentioned when we hang out tonight.

So I think you're on the right track lad. If you want more than sex, playing it cool and taking your time's paramount. If he wants more than sex, he'll respect that and do the same. Believe his sincerity until his actions say otherwise.

Sound advice; he was disappointed that nothing happened, clearly, but not so disappointed that he didn't respond to my text saying how keen he was to hang out again.

Maybe I'll have some of your luck soon. The last girl who fancied me since this French affair was the usual: attractive, funny, clever, etc, but that je ne sais quoi was absent.

I'm hoping so, our experiences seem so similar, I'm thinking we must have been separated at birth lol

Best of luck to you Alex! Keep me updated. ...and play it cool

Cheers mate, I will. Good luck with yours too