a letter to my ex (unsent of course)

[just-me]

I wish I could tell you what's on my mind, I need my best friend now more than ever to share all this sorrow, but you're not there for me anymore. I know you loved me. From this perspective I can see what happened and I don't blame you for that. I guess it was just not meant to be. We did all those stupid things for each other and that's what separated us in the end. It's so ironic. It doesn't make any sense anymore. But it was worth it. I just wish we met under different circumstances. Now both of our lives are screwed but I don't regret it because I've had the most wonderful relationship ever! I will never forget all those great memories and I hope neither will you. You remember that winter night in Central park, you and me alone, you drew a heart with our names in the snow? I know you do and that memory will never fade.
That one thing that happened changed everything. I know your feelings started fading ever since. I feel bad that you never tried to talk to about that or try to resolve it. You followed your heart instead and I should've seen this coming. But I did not. I took your love for granted and foolishly assumed nothing can change it.
It was just a matter of time when somebody will come along and take you away. You were fragile, he offered what you needed and he was able to make you happy. I was not. I understand that now. I just wish you gave us a second chance.
You fell in love. I know you tried to hold onto our relationship despite all the problems we had until the last moment but you couldn't go against your heart. You fell in love with me the same way, instantly and spontaneously. At least I know you left me for a good reason, you never cheated on me and you gave up everything just to be with him. You listened to your heart. He lives far away and I know you're suffering right now because he's not around. I hope he was worth it.
I still love you though and if you ever wish to get me back I'll be here for you. You're such great person and a great friend. I wish I could be your best friend but it's so hard after all we've been through.
I'm letting you go now. All I feel is emptiness and it will probably take years to get over it, but it's ok, you deserve to be happy and wish you all the best.
I love you so much!

truly yours
Lyalya

[cmacattack1]

Feel good to get that out? Good.

But whatever you do, please don't send it. It's all over the place emotionally and you will be perceived as this hopeless, ruined person that needs somebody in their life. I can go into further detail if you like.

You got through another day. Continue no contact, and keep yourself focused.

[just-me]

I'm not going to send it of course. I'm not even thinking about contacting her, even when I'm drunk!

[blent]

Just be selfish... think more about yourself the same way she did. She chose the other guy over you and didn't care at all about how you would feel, only about herself. I'm in the same position and it has screwed me over big time, **** her.