Videos/Books/Websites on How to Have Great Sex...?

[Dolmetscher]

I am in a relationship with a wonderful girl. And we are both VERY sexual people. It is so amazing to finally have a woman that has the same desire for sex as I do. I was married for 10 years to a woman that was a total once-or-twice-a-month and only with the lights off kinda of girl. I tried to work with my wife for a very long time, but obviously it didn't work out.

So anyway... since I spent my entire 20's with a woman that wasn't into sex, now I am 32 and have a partner that is up for pretty much anything. But now, all of the sudden, I am faced with the fact that the last sex book, magazine article, or video that I saw was in the 90's.

Do you guys know of any awesome guides to sex? I know that it is tempting to respond with some esoteric answer like, "As long as it is coming from your heart, you can't go wrong." And I appreciate that stance, but the fact remains, that other than doggy, missionary, and her on top... I am at a loss. And porn sucks for education. It is so fanciful and ridiculous, with all its moaning and faking.

And I am not looking for some ultra tame industry standard like, "The Joy of Sex". I'm talking about something that isn't afraid to address little rough stuff like hair pulling, ass slapping, and light choking (believe me, I mean light!). And dirty talk. I have noticed that if I am having sex with my girlfriend, we could be going fine, but if I say something like, "Oh yeah, I'm going to **** you hard now!" it's like instant orgasm. But I am running out of things to say.

Basically, I feel like I have this new gift, but I want to make sure I keep the fire stoked. Also, because she makes such a big deal about how knowledgeable I am about sex. She says I seem to know everything about sex. I don't argue with her, but the truth is... my bag of tricks is empty, but she thinks I am just getting started.

Help!!!

[sparkle_jello]

This sounds exciting for you! I like reading penthouse letter books with my husband. She Comes First is a great book. I would also purchase Liberator sex furniture, my husband and I got the essee (spelling) and it's awesome, freaking awesome.

[Raven_Skye]

And porn sucks for education. It is so fanciful and ridiculous, with all its moaning and faking.

Not always true, there's good porn out there if you look around for it.

As for the ways to have sex, I mean, you can get more creative than doggy, missionary and her on top right? You don't have to have people telling you which positions to try, just move around a lot during sex and you'll find some positions for you that'll hit the spot. And kama sutra, perhaps?
But honestly, if you are that much of a sexual person, if you think on it, much of this should come naturally. Think of what you'd like to try, what turns you on, listen to her body language as to what turns her on. Don't need no guides for that. However if you go to amazon and search for "good sex" or something you'll see a whole lot coming up. Don't know if any of that is worth anything though. Plus, some adult online shops (where you can get porn, toys etc etc) also have sort of instruction videos, or at least they might have some less than ridiculous porn.

Also, my advice is not to hide from her that you are not as knowledgeable about sex as she is. Just explain that about your previous relationship and let her know how much you appreciate the way she feels about sex.. my opinion that only shows her how happy you are to be with her.. and will put you at ease as you won't have to pretend you know all.

[Dolmetscher]

Thanks Raven...

I get where you are coming from, and I appreciate you taking the time to respond. I think my initial post was a little too vague and leaned towards me being a total sexual amateur. That's not the case. I actually studied psychology in college for 4 years with a Human Sexuality concentration. So I've read the Kama Sutra, the Marquis de Sade, the Joy of Sex, Gräfenburg, Kinsey, and all the biggies. But it was so long ago, and I was so young then, none of the girls I was having sex with back then were mature enough to handle anything other than the old in-and-out. I do remember once trying to get a 19 year old college girl to experiment with different energies, chakras, and Tantra... she spread the word all over campus that I was some kind of sexual freak that believed that I could send my energy into her through the top of her head etc. It was so embarrassing for me.

Anyway, I wouldn't say that my new girlfriend is more knowledgeable about sex than I am. My knowledge is just all scattered and ragged from years of not using it. But when I look online I just find all these books and videos about tantra and taoist energy and semen retention etc. I am not looking to transcend the physical world and all that esoteric stuff. I just want to read some things that might give me some ideas on how to flip my girl's switch. Because when she's turned on, I'm turned on. It's all selfish in the end I guess. But in a healthy good way.