What to do?

[tomtom4389]

I am a student studying in Lyon, France. A French guy befriended me via facebook searching for a friend to speak english with. Now, we hang out constantly, ALL the time. His free time he spends with me, when he's not at school or at work. I really enjoy being with him, we go out, we share our culture and language. I am on the verge of being in love with him. I eventually told him I like him. He said he is already in a relationship, and also said he was bi. (later I asked whether he has a bf or gf, he has a bf).

The thing is, I'm getting the wrong message from him. He’s acting like he’s going for me. He texts me ALL the time, "what are you doing, how are you, i miss you", etc etc. He gets worried when I don't text him back, thinking I’m ignoring him. He leans on me, touches me, more when hes drunk. He gives me a big kiss on the cheek when we leave for the night. Not like the French hello kisses, a real kiss but on the cheek. (I tried to kiss him on the lips but he refuses.)

I'm not sure if he is interested or not. He told me his bf is jealous of me because he spends so much time with me (obviously, then, their relationship is not 100%). He spends way more time with me than his bf. He tells me to not write anything romantic on his FB wall.

I don't know what to do. He is making me ache on the inside. I get the impression that he likes me but he doesn't want to admit it. I have had many conversations with him about this. "I really like you" I say. "You give me the impression that you're interested". He says "I just want to be friends, I am not interested." And then he says “I hope you still want to be friends, I would be sad if we can’t”

I have NEVER had someone be so attached to me, not even my past romantic interests. For real, it seems like he loves me!

I ask you: What should I do? What do you think? He’s tearing me apart wanting to spend so much time with me. It hurts to feel that I can’t kiss him or cuddle with him or be his boyfriend. He even makes me cry.

Should I avoid him? I don’t want to because I love him to death and enjoy his company too much.

Should I tell him to tone down the affection? Maybe it’s just his way of being friendly.

Should I consider him my boyfriend, just that we can’t be romantic? Should I just go with the flow and try not to be sad?

P.S. I am 21 he is 20 in 2 weeks.

Thank you all!

[JELEF]

I used to live in France. He knows how you feel and he's not interested in anything romantic. He's told you as much. If you can't accept him as strictly a friend (either now or in the future) you're really going to do yourself in.

I've been in this same situations a few times with my bestie. It's hard, it's painful, it seems unjust, etc. Eventually the feelings pass and you can get on with it, either as friends or forgetting him entirely. If you're buggering off in a semester or two, don't make too much of this as you're not certain if and when you'll ever see him again. If it's 'all or nothing' for you, you're letting yourself be heartbroken. Tell yourself it's never going to happen and continue to be friends. Maybe something can or will evetually happen, but don't expect it to.