I am confused and wondering how important is size.

[tacticalcraptic]

So my girlfriends computer is down. So for the last 3 months she has been using my laptop.

Last weekend was our first full on sexual experience. She had never let anyone touch her below the waist before. (though she has given head to a few guys in a previous, rebellious stage of her life) I was the first one. we didn't have actual sex but I used my hands. She keeps reminding me that it was a such a special experience for her and it made her feel close and that she gave up alot for me.
She also did things for me. I am self conscious about the size of my genital self. She said that it didn't matter to her that it was plenty big and it was forgotten for the night. (PS mine is, from what I have come to understand the very definition of average, 4.3 inches long and 4.1 around) I didn't worry about it, I love her and she says she loves me.

Today I get the computer back and The yahoo messenger pops up when someone tries to chat, I go to close it and see the previous chat. A few actually.

She is discussing our sexual experience with 3 other male strangers. She says she will not cheat because she has a boyfriend and can only be friends to all of them cause they all make a suggestion about meeting with her or boyfriends being expendable or something.

But she discussed with all of them her disappointment with my size she said "Secret: I am disappointed, he is perfect for me in every other way, he is the sweetest, most attractive, most thoughtful, caring and funny guy and he seems like everything I have ever hoped for but it's the smallest one I have seen and I can't imagine it would even feel like much when we eventually do have intercourse."

One guy said, "It will probably still work just fine, you just need to decide whether you will be able to be happy with it the way it is or not. Do you love this guy?"
She replied "I don't love him"
She didn't even sound like the sweet, open minded, and understanding girl I have know for the last 6 months.

So yeah, my girlfriend is talking to males she has met online since we started dating and is discussing our sex life with them and her disappointment with my penis. She denies she loves me to them despite having told me in a very emotional way many times before.

I don't know what to think, is the size of a guys thing really that big of a deal? Most girls I have been with in the past have said it's normal sized and many have said that my attentiveness, energy and thoughtfulness in sex more than make up for it many girls saying I am in the top 3 sexual partners they have ever had, if not the top so I figured it wasn't a big deal but it seems a bigger deal than I thought.

[spiritofjosh]

I've actually read the women don't prefer men to be bigger and when you actually go through with intercourse I'm sure she'll feel differently.

[Dargali]

Big penis's make you sore after a while...

[vashti]

I'd be more concerned that she is violating your privacy in such a callous way than about the size of your penis, not to mention that she said she doesn't love you. Listen, my friend: you CAN do better. Get rid of her. YOu will never be able to feel good about yourself when you are with her now.

[MerryH]

She shouldn't have been chatting with random dudes about your penis size - it was a violation of privacy, but you snooped in her personal conversations which is also a violation. Don't do that.

She said some pretty nice things about you, though, and refused to meet up with these guys, so it's not like she's a lying cheating slutbag. Sounds like she just wanted some anonymous opinions about it, much like you're doing here.

You are going to have to confront her about this and tell her you snooped through her shit, in my opinion. You have to find out if she really loves you like she says she does. That's the thing I would be most concerned with, not the part about her thinking you're inadequate in the size department. How would she even know how it would feel if she's still technically a virgin?

[tacticalcraptic]

Thank you for the input. I didn't really snoop, I guess I did, but when the IM popped up from someone I didn't know asking "How is Mr. little doing" I was confused and asked who it was and what he was talking about until I realized it was still signed in to her, and looked down the screen a bit and saw the past conversation. I should have probably stopped reading there but I at that point I already knew what was up.

Your right though, the troubling thing is how blatantly and shortly she said she did not love me and the fact that she is meeting new anonymous and local (they are all local) guys for one on one chat at this point in our relationship.

I don't know how she would know how it felt or why she cares, cause she really does not know. When I was doing my thing with my fingers I started with one, tried to put in 2 she said it was too much, then later said to put 2 in and she said she liked it cause it felt like it fit so tightly and perfectly. And I know my penis is longer and wider around that my index and middle finger put together.

[MerryH]

When I was doing my thing with my fingers I...

Euugh. Too many details. Did you include that because of my question? If so, I'm sorry I asked - I really wasn't expecting an answer. I guess you're even now, though. She talked about your size and now you've talked about hers. I hope that's the last time you share that info with others.

[LoveYou]

Why dont you just talk with her about that ?