NEED HELP....New Poster.........This is a LONG one.

[lakerman34]

Sup guys, my name is John and I'm new to this forum.

I'm a sophomore in college. Pretty good looking guy, and I use pheromones (from smartmones.com).

I've posted on pherotalk.com, and would like to post here, b/c this weird new thing has happened to me. I've never had more feelings for a girl like I do this one. At one point, she just felt right. Now, I don't know anymore.

I met this one girl in my dorm. She's a freshmen. I went in her dorm to ask her if she wanted to go out dancing. She said no, but her roommate (from here on named Sara) said she wanted to go.

We went, came back, I went to drop Sara off (we just met that night) and her roommate was hooking up with a guy. Sara went to my room, slept over, cuddled and hooked up all night. It didn't escalate cuz my roommate was in the room.

A couple nights later, this exact scenario happened. Sara wanted to know when my roommate wasn't going to be in the room, I told her he leaves on weekends. She answers 'Good, so we'll have the room to ourselves.' Sara and I started having deep conversations, I'd tuck her in at night, kiss her on the forehead, I'm in love.

One Saturday night, I took her out dancing, and she was drunk. I reminded her my roommate wasn't in the room, and she firmly said "I'm too drunk, stop tempting me." We sat down on the steps in front of my dorm, and this other girl came over who has been trying to hook up with me. She BEGGED me to take her out, and I simply said I couldn't. Sara's friend witnessed the whole thing. Sara went to bed, and her friend told me "Whatever you want, I can make it happen. She really likes you." I told her the truth, that I really liked her, didn't know what I wanted, but was kind of upset nothing happened that night. She ran inside, came out 5 minutes later and said "Sara doesn't want to do anything with you when she's drunk." I REALLY respected that. Now, her roommate and her friend were always telling me how she always spoke so highly of me and how she really liked me.

Then, one day, I was tutoring Sara's roommate in math, and she told me 'honestly, your doing a good job, she really likes you, but you have to make yourself less available.' I texted Sara's friend asking her what the hell that meant, and she forwarded the text to Sara, who then told her roommate that she was upset at her for opening her lips and that she was going to ruin everything that she had with me.

I asked Sara if we could talk about it, and told her I wasn't upset. She was looking forward to the talk, good sign. We spoke outside and I told her I liked her, but asked her if I was exclusive or not. She said "No, go out, have fun, hook up with a lot of girls." I asked her if she meant it, she said yes. (I'm thinking a test. Sara's ex-bf of 8 months cheated on her, and she's been very weary around guys). She also said how we were too relationship-y and that she was taking a step back. She's only a freshmen and hasn't even got her feet wet in school yet. I told her not to be afraid of any emotions, and she said it was natural to be, understandable.

So, I let her go a little bit. Then, one day I go into her room, and talk to her roommate. Her roommate basically yelled at me saying "Honestly, whatever you want from Sara, you're not getting it, so back off for a while." I decide to back off. I texted her asking her to go to dinner with me, she said she'd take a raincheck, she had Hillel. After I had a test, I told her I was going to de-stress that night and I'd like her to join me, she told me she didn't know if she was going out but she'd let me know. Never got a text.

Last weekend was family weekend, and her family traveled 4 hours to visit her, so I decided to stay away for the weekend. Then, last Friday night, I was in my dorm about to go out, and she comes home crying with another guy. She stubbed her toe, it was bleeding badly. I run to my room, grab rubbing alcohol, and clean it for her. While I was doing it, the other guy was holding her hand, she was talking to him, looking at him, acting like I was chopped liver. Then, finally she grabbed my arm. I was wiping away her tears with my finger. I then asked her if she had a fun night, she giggled and said "yeah." The guy also chuckled and said, "yeah you did."

She went to brush her teeth, and I asked the guy if they did anything to let me know, I won't be upset, I just needed to know where I stood. He said they did nothing. It ended up being just me and Sara in the room, she was going to bed. Instead of kissing her goodnight, I gave her an awkward hug, said cya later and left.

I then went to hang out with the girl that really likes me, but we did nothing but watch a movie.

The next morning, I get a text from Sara, and she thanked me for taking care of her. I told her she could make it up to me by going out with me to a frat party that night. She responded four hours later saying "I'm hanging out with my brothers then I'm going there, cya there." I asked her if her brothers were going, she said no, they were 14. She was going with her friends.

I went to talk to 2 girls I lived with last yr. They told me I played the entire situation to a T. The one told me a story about how she was with a guy, then this other guy liked her, and she kind of liked him, and then for a week, he just stopped talking to her and she was an emotional wreck. They ended up going out for 3 yrs (still going strong). They told me to not contact her at all for a week, and to play the jealous card (bring a girl to the frat party that the girl was going to be at).

I did that. I brought her, saw Sara, and she said 'hey,' I said 'sup,' she was with her friends, and she started dancing with a guy from Hillel.

I hooked up with the girl I brought. The entire night and even when hooking up, I couldn't get my mind off Sara. Sara eventually disappeared from the party.

Tonight, I was walking around my dorm, and I saw Sara sitting on the floor with a 'friend' of mine who she hooked up with before me (she called him an asshole, jerk, etc., and now they were sitting right next to each other and his arm was around her, and it seemed kind of intimate).

She simply asked me how I've been. I answered 'Can't complain' with a smile. Then, spoke to my friend, and reminded him of the time he tried to start a fight with me because he was drunk (don't worry, in context it made sense). He said he was sorry and that I challenged him. I said no sir, I was sober, you challenged me, but I love you man, I wasn't going to fight you.' He said he apologized, I said don't worry about it, we're good, have a goodnight you two.

I was going to ask Sara out on a date Wednesday for the following Wednesday (give her something to look forward to, and Fall Break is Friday to Tuesday, so she wasn't going to be on campus), yet I also think I shouldn't try and contact her for a week.

I need help, please. This is all very new to me. A girl has NEVER bothered me like this one (I've never been the relationship type of guy, always the hookup type of guy).

[Infern0]

Simple answer is tell her you want to be exclusive and if she says no, cut her off. You want to be seeing her with other dudes?

[lakerman34]

I don't even know if I should go to her room and visit her yet. I was thinking talking to her in 2 days, just casual conversation, then asking her to dinner a couple days later.

But, then again, the whole silent treatment (obviously if I see her, I'm going to be a gentleman) just to see if she'll come to me. Worked for my friend, but every situation is different.

[Infern0]

I don't even know if I should go to her room and visit her yet. I was thinking talking to her in 2 days, just casual conversation, then asking her to dinner a couple days later.

But, then again, the whole silent treatment (obviously if I see her, I'm going to be a gentleman) just to see if she'll come to me. Worked for my friend, but every situation is different.

You should go see her, say tomorrow, and just turn on the charm mate, say something along the lines of "although i haven't known you very long you already mean a lot to me and i'd like our relationship to be exclusive"

seriously, if she says no to that, i mean why would someone say no to that, if they like the person asking them? unless they are a complete slut who cant resist the urge to sleep around.

if shes a decent girl and she likes you she will agree, no question.

[MerryH]

"although i haven't known you very long you already mean a lot to me and i'd like our relationship to be exclusive"

Please don't say this to her.

seriously, if she says no to that, i mean why would someone say no to that, if they like the person asking them? unless they are a complete slut who cant resist the urge to sleep around.

Yes, obviously a girl would be a complete slut if she said no to you. I mean, how can she say no to that? How can she resist THIS? *points to genitals*

No, but really, I don't think Sara likes you like that. But go for it, ask her out. She might say yes, she might say no. Either way, at least you'll know what's up with her and you can act accordingly.

[lakerman34]

I spoke to my greatest adviser, whom I actually never talk to about issues like this: my mother.

She gave me real talk, and that's why I love her. She told me to just stay away, learn, and if she ever wants to hang out, or even if she wants to come back with me from a party, kindly reject her. She told me if she's with other guys, I can go with other girls. What's meant to be will be, and she said there's too much of a minority of girls who want a relationship of any kind in college.

This was an eye opener for me.