Not looking to date, but???

[patrick74]

I've been half seeing someone I met a couple months ago, this past month we've spent quite a bit of time together. Have only been on a couple dates, but have spent a lot of time together riding (horses) and a few other things.

Other than a hugs and a couple pecks, nothings happened between us. We're both in our 30's

In speaking of her past and present situation, without being directed at me she's mentioned a few times "I'm not looking at dating right now". She's new to the area and is focused on her job.


The kicker? She's made several references to doing things together, it's pretty obvious she likes me and enjoys my company but at the same time I think she's confused on what she really wants.

We don't really talk, text, or e-mail a whole lot but I have been seeing her at least twice a week and even as busy as she is she never really turns me down for something I suggest.

Three weeks ago I was invited on a road trip with another friend and I asked her to go, so this coming weekend we're traveling seven hours and just she and I will be staying in a room together. So we've got that coming up, tomorrow we're supposed to go out and this coming Thursday there's a play I wanted to go to and she had class, so I said it was to bad she had class as I'd really like to take her. Well she's coming with me, so all that's good.


Than I hear the not looking to date thing over lunch last Friday, she'd invited me to a meeting and than lunch afterwords. A few minutes later we're talking about family and she mentions "when you meet my mom".

I'm extremely confused, this girl is everything I've been looking for my whole adult life. We have a tremendous amount in common, there's never an awkward moment in the conversation even after 5-6 hours, we share some quirky interests and thoughts. Even our political/religious thoughts are the same.


She knows I like her, she knows I'm interested and I've told her how much I enjoy her company. I don't want to scare her off, but at the close of the weekend after our trip I'm half tempted to tell her that I know she's not looking to date, but that I am looking to date someone and while I don't need to see or speak to someone every day I'm very interested in her. I'm in no rush to move to fast or even to jump into bed, but I'm not interested in meeting or dating anyone else.

My minds been all over the place lately and if this is never going to go anywhere I need to probably start distancing myself a little bit so I won't get more hurt than I already would.

[xxazurexx]

The fact she said she isn't ready to date anyone, made me initially think she isn't interested. But her actions say otherwise.

I'd be straight up with her and let her know that you would like to date her. The worst that can happen, is that she will still be adamant she doesn't want to date. And if that's the case, then I'd distance from her. If she isn't ready to date you now, then IMO she never will be.

[patrick74]

Close friend of mine was visiting with this girl in the back seat of the truck while I was driving the other night, they weren't talking about me or dating or anything of the sorts but life in general.

My friends comments to me later on was she also thought this girl was confused about her feelings about me, being that she likes me but doesn't know how to act or what she should do?

She was out with another friend of mine and also was asking this girl about me and what she knew, all good I guess? My friend apparently told her that she'd be a fool for not dating me. So at least a few people are in my corner.

Seeing her in a few hours for an evening together, were supposed to go out Thursday but she canceled very apologetically and made plans to reschedule for the same venue later next week. In the mean time we leave for this four day weekend this Friday. Worse case if nothings happened I'm planning on just telling her again that I'm interested in seeing her, don't need to rush into anything but I'm not looking to see anyone else either.