Unrequited Question

[Poetic_Partner]

First, I am looking for insight rather than advice. I've "been there, done that" through the years, but there's a twist here that I'd like to understand better.

I became acquainted with a woman and hit it off quickly. Early on I asked her out - she said she was seeing someone. However, she encouraged me to not be a stranger, and that if things didn't work with him then she wouldn't mind dating me.

I took her at her word that we could get to know each other better. Since then, I have had many good conversations with her and we seem to be getting to know each other well. Our chances to talk to each other are quite limited as we both have super-busy schedules, and there are times I have gone a bit out of my way to bump into her.

I'm not entirely comfortable doing that, as I don't trust my judgment on, for instance, whether a smile is just a smile. So the other day I asked whether she minded me swinging by to talk with her - and whether I was out of bounds to do so.

She seemed a bit taken aback and assured me that everything was okay. That she didn't mind me dropping by every now and then to chat. She has even let me know (without me asking) when her regular schedule changes.

I'm not really looking for advice (though never turn it down). I know a relationship is unlikely, and am fine with simply showing her little acts of friendship. I am, however, wondering about her thoughts and feelings. I don't feel comfortable asking outright as I don't want to come across as being a pest about starting a relationship.

So, any thoughts from the women out there who have been in her shoes?

-PP

[xxazurexx]

Been in her shoes a few times and with guys I didn't want a relationship with. Because I hate to hurt feelings, I'd offered the next best thing which is 'friendship' and that is what she has done. If you pester her in regard to more....she will run. If things are going to happen between you, they will happen in due course and naturally. Depends whether you want to sit around and wait and see what happens next, if anything.

[Poetic_Partner]

Thanks Azure.

That's the conclusion I came to. Just wanted to bounce it off someone though - it's the first time for me that a friendship has deepened after being turned down for romance.

-PP

[kats86]

I think she's trying to keep you around as a back-up. If her relationship doesn't work out than she has you to fall back on...do you really want that? What if you're the rebound guy and she goes back to her ex? Save the heartbreak...but if you reallly like her wait and see what happens