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Thread: So my boyfriend ended it with me two days ago

  1. #1
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    So my boyfriend ended it with me two days ago

    He did this because he was 'too immature' for a relationship, he cried a lot when he was doing this, I'd like to know what that meant.
    He also said I gave too much and he couldn't give me enough.
    That was his reasoning.
    He also said he loves me so much and didn't want this to get more complicated as he loves me more and more with each day.
    I think I dealt with it quite well, haven't begged, acted desperate, but I just want him back and don't know how to go about it.
    Clearly he needed to do this for some reason, but why?
    If you love someone, surely you don't just give up?
    It's not like we argued everyday or had major problems.
    I just don't understand
    Can people help me and give me their opinions please?
    this would be much appreciated.
    xx

  2. #2
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    If he really loved you. He wouldnt give you up. Maybe he wants you to fight for him? I do not know, all I know is love is not giving up on person for something stupid like this.

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    Hmmm, I know everyone says this, but I think he really did love me, and we were fine a week ago. He's really weird though, and I think little arguments scare him, but why?
    Surely if he wanted me to fight for him, he would have just threatened to break up, not actually do it?
    I have not contacted him yet, except after he left saying 'I wish I understood' and he said he didn't want things to get more complicated? :S
    I'm hoping, if I do this, he'll miss me. I have no idea wha I'm doing really. :/

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    Now that I've reread what you wrote it seems like he's "in his own little world" within you guys relationship. Things that transpired and happen in the relationship effect him totally different than they effect you and he's been able to keep that from you. Something went horribly wrong for him to say "more complicated" and you didn't even realize anything was complicated. He's going to have to open up to you about why he's soooo insecure about things that he's gotten to the point of just breaking up with you rather than dealing with his insecurities. I think the no contact is good for now though. Give him some time to miss you, and realize why he came to the decision in the first place. Hopefully you'll be able get him to open ALL the way up with you.

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    How old are the both of you ?

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    we are both 18 and 19

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    Quote Originally Posted by hmmm View Post
    we are both 18 and 19
    you are at the age where most people are still exploring, finding out about other people and also about themselves.

    many will still not know what it is they want or they can be changing their minds from time to time. boys will also tend to be less mature.

    i'm not sure how long you were together but it doesn't sound like you have committed to each other in ways that will make it different to separate eg living arrangements, other inter-dependencies. it is wise to keep things that way for now.

    maybe he realizes that he no longer wants to be in an exclusive relationship or maybe he has found someone new.
    there is not much point speculating.

    just move on. get busy with your life. meet and make more new friends.
    when the right one comes along, he will not just walk away.

    good luck
    Last edited by asdfg789; 07-10-10 at 12:40 AM. Reason: typo

  8. #8
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    The problem here is his age. He doesn't want to be settled, I'm sure if he was older this wouldn't be a problem. Move on like he is trying to do,.

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    How can he not want to be settled? we never said yeah we'll get married, yeah we'll move in together -I never pressured him to thinking like that
    we just had fun, and we really connected.
    Also, I was his first relationship in 2 years, and his first 'real' one, he had a phase of two years before me or having the life style of sex with random people, not every week but every few months, he openly spoke about it and said how he hated it and never felt complete and didn't have a direction anywhere.
    I don't understand..
    but why do this little arguments affect him so much?

  10. #10
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    I don't know why little things would affect him . . but you're both young and early 20's is the time for exploration and experimentation.

    It might be going to fast for him? Maybe you should slow down a bit till he's comfortable again?

  11. #11
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    I feel he's doing you a huge favor. He knows he is not in the right state to be in a relationship with you, and he's sparing you the heart ache of having him not committed.

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    But why is he not in the right state of being in a relationship?
    Sorry if I sound dumb, I just don't get it, why get in a relationship if you don't feel ready for one? I mean, you know that relationships mean commitment. and we were great together.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by hmmm View Post
    But why is he not in the right state of being in a relationship?
    Sorry if I sound dumb, I just don't get it, (1) why get in a relationship if you don't feel ready for one? I mean, you know that relationships mean commitment. (/1) and we were great together.
    1) True . . .but a few years, a few decades, you whole lifetime. . . it's a long time

    You're both still young and he still might some flexibility when he gets into his 20s?

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by hmmm View Post
    But why is he not in the right state of being in a relationship?
    Sorry if I sound dumb, I just don't get it, why get in a relationship if you don't feel ready for one? I mean, you know that relationships mean commitment. and we were great together.
    You know why, we told you why. It is very simple. Some people at that age want to free to enjoy themselves, it doesn't matter how good an relationship may have been. You two weren't mean to be, that's it.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by hmmm View Post
    But why is he not in the right state of being in a relationship?
    Sorry if I sound dumb, I just don't get it, why get in a relationship if you don't feel ready for one? I mean, you know that relationships mean commitment. and we were great together.
    Some people don't want to worry about another person. He may want to date other women, men love variety. The truth is, there are many men and women out there that simply do not desire a relationship. If I were to get a divorce I don't think I would want to get into a relationship for a long time afterward, because I would want my life to be about me. He may have started a relationship with you because he didn't know what he wanted, but now he does.

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