Feelings for a best friend

[loverboy1122]

Hi there,

I am 21 yr old guy (Indian). Ive been in the US all my life. I have a really close best friend (an american girl)...and recently i have feelings for her more than in a friendship level.

She is very innocent. She tries to make everyone around her very happy and can get easily stressed out. She just broke with an Ex and still talks to him (who gives her stress) just because she doesnt want him to feel bad. She has told me that she would never date him. She also has another friend who is coming to visit her in a few weeks...but she has told him she will never date him also. Ive known her for a long time and just a month ago I started having strong feelings for her. She has asked me questions like "Whos your best friend?" and "Whats something I dont know about you?" We would eat brkfst, lunch, and dinner every day, study everyday, and even workout everyday.

I am going to Medical school next year and shes going to do her PhD in biology.

I want to be in a relatioship with her b/c i know her very well and the way she deserves to be treated. I dont know if i should ask her if she would like to be in a relationship with me. If so, HOW DO I ASK HER? I am very torn about this and i cant concentrate on anything else. Please Please Please help me out here!!!

Thanks!!!

-Dr Confused

[loverboy1122]

Someone Please give me advice!!!!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Tell her that your feelings for her have developed into romantic ones, and you know she's just out of a relationship now, so you would be willing to take things however slow she needs. Makes sure she knows you understand that she's under a lot of stress and are willing to wait, but can't hold your feelings in anymore. If she doesn't respond well, then leave her alone for a while and see if the feelings go away. I don't have a problem with dissolving my feelings for someone once I've tried and know there isn't a chance..dunno how it works for you.

[IncognitoSir]

She JUST broke up with her ex, I'de be willing to bet, she's NOT ready to entertain anyone's feelings for her at the moment.......not to mention she still keeps contact with her ex. To top it all off, you're in a really bad place with her.....THE FRIEND ZONE. It's very difficult to cross over into potential dating category after you've been friended. I say tread very carefully and continue to be her friend. You should wait until she's over her ex before you make a move, but make sure she realizes that you're there for her and intrested in her.....this won't be easy bro.

[ConfusedAlex]

Honesty is usually the best policy, but in this case, I'd just let things continue how they currently are. It sounds like she's not really in the kind of place mentally where she's ready to start a new relationship, and if she was interested in having one with you, you would undoubtedly know about it. I'm pretty sure she knows that you're interested in her. Sometimes people need a crutch in those kinds of situations, and so they use a friend as a surrogate for some of the things they would get in a relationship.

Don't invest all your emotions into something that is currently unrequited, and will probably continue to be so in the near future. Relationships never, in my experience, start with one person telling a friend that they have fallen for them, often it causes things to become awkward.

[loverboy1122]

Hey,

I have taken her to a nice restaurant and she was all up for coming with me. This was 2 weeks ago ish. Today she wants to go get ice cream with me...later tonite at our favorite dairy queen. I pay for it most of the time. We just got done with 3 exams back to back. Everytime she would go somewhere, shed always wait and say goodbye to me if i was around. "See you later!" in a nice sweet voice. I meet every morning for brkfst. Id always get her favorite...bagel and a tea. We'd go to class together, sit next to each other, leave class together. We might get more food after that or she might go to her room and ill go to mine. Wed then go to lunch together. Id visit her all the time at work. We always walk together, eat together, study together, workout together.

I just spoke with her yesterday and she says she doesnt want to date anyone for a couple months. I didnt tell her that i have feeling for her yet. I want her to tell her that I want to be in a relationship with her but i am willing to take it slow and give her all the freedom she wants. I wont expect to be on the phone or hanging out all the time. I want her to take all the time she needs..to hang out with her friends, talk to family, be alone, and etc. She says she still cares about her ex (meaning...she has memories that she cant easily give up...and she said she doesnt think its fair for her next boyfriend). I know all about their drama and what not....and i dont give a damn. I know she was not treated the way she deserves to be treated by her ex. I want to be in a relationship with her...but just continue doing what we have been doing. I am not expecting anything more. I just want to be able to call her my gf.

Please give me adviceee on what i should do. I AM VERY CONFUSED and cant concentrate on school!!!

[loverboy1122]

HELP!!! Please!!!!

[lanana.banana]

its all been said. if you really want her then wait it out, if you need her, if your feelings are that strong, then somehow let her know without the obligation of answering you.. id write her a letter or send her a text outlining your issue.

man up and do it, dont back down if its what you really want and you believe you can make her happy.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Do what Lanana said, and then leave her alone for a while. No calls, no texts, no breakfast, no nothing. If she asks what's up, just tell her that you're trying to deal with your feelings for her and if she doesn't want to be with you, then you'd like some time apart to work on your studies.

[loverboy1122]

so i left her alone for a day. didnt call/text/talk, didnt eat brkfst lunch or dinner.....that evening she texts me and asks whats wrong...and that same night she cried that i wasnt talking to her. I told her i value her too much to be mad at her...but didnt tell her that i have feelings for her.

Ever since then she has been more "into" me. she texts me everday abt brfkst lunch dinner, studying, and even late night ice cream.

what does this mean??? does she have feelings for me?

I cant hide my feelings anymore b/c i wanna be true to her and myself. how should i tell her this???

please help me! thanx!!

[intensedawg]

I just want to be able to call her my gf. Please give me adviceee on what i should do. I AM VERY CONFUSED and cant concentrate on school!!!

If that's all you want her for then it's not worth it. And love shouldn't get in the way of things like school. Personally I'd wait until you are done with school to find a relationship as it can cause a distraction.

[Agape]

It might be too soon to tell her . . .for example "She just broke with an Ex and still talks to him (who gives her stress) just because she doesnt want him to feel bad."

Other than that, I think you should at least tell her or indicate that you want something more than friendship

[August]

Let her know what you feel! Tell her that you LOVE her..