I'm in love with my ex stalker

[anna_88]

Hi.. Me and my "friend" met some months ago. Started dating. But I didn't feel sexual chemistry so I let it fade out to friendship. Then I worked on a school project for 2 months abroad and we kept in touch. When I came home he was so overly needy and tried to meet me all the time ("stalkish") that I turned him down every single time. While clubbing I had to hide myself from him and ect.

But then after a while I noticed we haven't talked for some weeks so I initiated contact. First he didn't even answer. Then I sent him an apology and we met. He has a girlfriend now. And I have such strong feelings for him. The thing was before that I was just resently out of an relationship so I wasn't ready. And him beeing so overly enthusiastic about me pushed me further away.

We are friends now... But he has a girlfriend (which is gorgeouss and they have dated for 3-4 weeks now and he ignored me first because of her)... Should I just remain friends and wait for my time? Or should I tell him my feelings before it is too late?


I have thought this over and over. My feelings are 100% and he is the one so I need some seriously good advice!

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

Girl, let ur boii be. You had ur chance and maybe you will again. But, for now... let him sulk in his glory. ya

[all alone]

Do you miss him or the attention..?.. you let it slide, too late now.

[Kayla]

i dont think telling him will help... seems like he is over it.

[Agape]

You're kinda weird . . . you miss your ex-stalker?

Sorry girl, but you let him think you weren't interested in him . . and apparently he and his gf seem to be going on well for about a month.

You were friends, and by your actions/rejections you acted like a friend . . . so guess what, you are friends now - and with this current friendship between you two, take it or leave it. . . if you can't take it, then I suggest you find someone else.

[doppelgaenger]

Sounds like you miss the attention; you were used to having a needy person call you all the time - you got a thrill from rejection and avoiding him. Sounds like he gave you more than plenty of chances to be with him. If you really wanted to be with him, you would have hopped on the ship with him right off the bat. Just be happy for him that he has a gorgeous gf. You'd probably get sick of his dependent attitude, anyway, right?

I've been in this situation countless times - I was interested in a girl, the one I really wanted was getting over her ex or had some crap excuse for not wanting to date or anything, and then a nice girl comes along and sweeps me off my feet, and the first girl decides she'll give me a shot but it's too late. Don't make it any harder for him, lol. It's hard to have a relationship going (early on) when there is a girl you wanted who wants to date you. He probably won't go back for you, though, after leaving him hanging all those times.

I've also been in situations where I really wanted to date a girl, but she would play really really hard to get or she wasn't interested at first. I kept putting my effort into it, but I got sick of doing that. The girl changed her mind when I decided I didn't want to date her anymore, lol. You ladies think that you have the final say on these things, but just because a man has a penis and sometimes thinks with it doesn't mean that he'll sit outside in the rain like a dog begging and waiting for you. We lose interest about as fast as an erection if something doesn't feel right.

[anna_88]

Ok...

But should I leave things left unsaid? Maybe he likes her but maybe he still loves me, and I love him. Or is it no way?

I can handle being friends for now. But I can't handle seeing them overly in love, moving in together and starting a family. It would hurt too much. He is the only thing I want.

He would either say yes or no. If it's a no, I would have to face the fact that he has moved on and move on myself. But if we are friends I would always secretly wish for something more.... Not healthy. But if they would one day brake up I would not do the same mistake again....

[chly28]

Look I think you need to think on the guys point of view...THE GUY IS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GIRL!!!!! As the traditional saying goes....if you had really loved him....or are you infatuated with him at the moment? Or just been infatuated with the attention he gave you? Anyways if you really loved him, you will be happy that he is happy....Also as you stated you just came out from a relationship.......Most times these are rebound honey.....You are projecting your rejection emotions onto him rejecting you.....
Also he wasn't a stalker I have to say in my opnion. The poor guy was just expressing how he felt about you and was trying to get your attention before.........so I wouldn't call that stalking...I would call stalking once you have come out and say no to him and he still hangs around and follows you everywhere.....But as they say....life moves on...Maybe in the future he may come back or he maybe really happy with this girl....if u trully were in love as how you claim to be you would be happy if he were.....Even if he were dating other people.......

That's wot love is...... THere are plenty to go around..........just take your time...u still seem very young and will have plenty of time to meet that special one...Hang in on there......

[Boisdevie]

Let it go. You missed your chance.

[Incognito]

Wow. You're a cruel and selfish person. This guy loves you and you don't feel sexual chemistry, so instead of being an adult and either trying to change it or just saying "look it isn't working" you just let it "fade to friendship". Then you keep in contact with him, knowing that he has feelings for you, while you're away. When you get back he is probably thinking that he's got another chance with you since you kept in contact, but you chalk all of his attempts to go out with you as "needy" or "stalkerish". Then you miss the attention and restart the friendship hoping that you can restart a relationship AFTER he has another girlfriend. You're pathetic and you need to break all contact with him. A friendship with you will only end with you two sleeping together after a while, which will ruin his relationship. When you two get together again you'll get bored because there is no more chasing, and you'll find some reason to dump him or "let it fade to friendship" again. Stop being an attention whore, grow up, and move on.

[Lovable]

I do totally agree that you are being selfish. You had your chance with him & you blew it for whatever your REAL reasons where. He obviously got over you & is with someone else & for a month now.

If you are any kind of REAL FRIEND you would let him & his girlfriend ALONE & move on. Don't tell him anything because if he did have any kind of lingering feelings for you, he would have showed them or even told you about them, but he hasn't, he has someone else.

Get over it & yourself, move on from him & find another guy.

[Only-virgins]

Wow. You're a cruel and selfish person. This guy loves you and you don't feel sexual chemistry, so instead of being an adult and either trying to change it or just saying "look it isn't working" you just let it "fade to friendship".

This does suck when it happens.

[Agape]

Ok...

But should I leave things left unsaid? Maybe he likes her but maybe he still loves me, and I love him. Or is it no way?

I can handle being friends for now. But I can't handle seeing them overly in love, moving in together and starting a family. It would hurt too much. He is the only thing I want.

He would either say yes or no. If it's a no, I would have to face the fact that he has moved on and move on myself. But if we are friends I would always secretly wish for something more.... Not healthy. But if they would one day brake up I would not do the same mistake again....

Sorry girl. . . HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. . .what are you doing to do? Try and break them up?

No, move on.

[Incognito]

Sorry girl. . . HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. . .what are you doing to do? Try and break them up?

No, move on.

Thats exactly what will end up happening if they stay friends. In fact, I'm sure thats what she is going to try and do anyway. She'll be a friend until she can make her move. She shatter his current relationship, get back with him, and then dump him because she's too needy or because there is no sexual chemistry or because he picks his nose (or something equally stupid that can easily be changed). She needs to let him live his life, go her separate way, and never talk to him again. He had already started to move on and wasn't contacting her at all. That is the way it needs to be.

[anna_88]

I admit that I was a selfish person. But I believe in personal growth and learnig of mistakes. Is it evil to tell my feelings when they are real. Are my feelings of any less value because I made the mistake of realizing them too late? I'm not interested in a toy boy for my pleasure.

Of course if they are happy together than that's the way it is. But what do I know? Maybe she is a rebound. Thank you for putting effort to answer me. I don't need any more of them.

make love not war