How should I proceed with this?

[jessZ]

Hi all,

So, broke up with my ex a couple of months ago, and just started feeling like dating a little... But right now, I'm a wierd situation with a colleague, who Im really developing a big crush on.

The situation is this - we've been working together for a few weeks now, and one of my other colleagues mentioned that he seems interested in me. He has been paying me a lot of attention - emails, initiating conversations through chat, asking me out for coffee every day (and insisting it's just the two of us, with no other colleagues), asking me to go for walks with him... He has also asked me out the past two Fridays in a row... Last night we went for drinks and dinner. We have obvious chemistry, and when we walk around together we're always touching down the length of our arms/shoulders...

BUT, he has a girlfriend. Kind of. Well, when I ask him about her, he says they've been 'on/off' and 'casual' for 6mths....

I don't know how to proceed with this Last night was great, and I asked him to go to a movie with me today, but he said no... But all of his other actions so far suggest that he is into me. I'm really not sure whether to say something to him/ask again about the situation with his gf. When I asked him about her, he was pretty short with his answers. I don't want to pry, or push him, but I would like to know what is going on with him and whether to expend my energies any further in getting to know him...

[IncognitoSir]

Nip it in the bud now. Before you get going with this guy make sure he's FINISHED with his "on/off gf" whatever that supposed to mean since he didnt explain in detail to you. He's avoiding the topic for a reason though so be careful as you proceed.

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

lmao he wants some :p So, watchout for dat trap. ya Nway, like incognito said make sure his finish with his gf before u even venture his way. Nway, good luck

[jessZ]

Thanks guys. I'm wondering whether I should say anything to him?? I mean, despite all of the attention, I think he is still probably unsure about my feelings... Perhaps I could say something like "you know, if you weren't with someone, I'd be interested..." and then leave to ball in his court?? I definately want a clean start.

[Agape]

"he has a girlfriend. Kind of. Well, when I ask him about her, he says they've been 'on/off' and 'casual' for 6mths"

Nice. I'm sure you're just going to be another girl on the side as well? . . . if you want a relationship, don't continue on with this guy. . . if you do and you become his girlfriend, when he's seeing another girl then he'll just use this same excuse.

[jessZ]

So he keeps asking me out, including to dancing classes (wanted to join for ages), lunch this week, and music festival in a month... I really don't know what to do! Should I just ask him straight up about his 'situation'?!! Really falling for him...

[Boisdevie]

Ask him straight up. He is either single or he's taken.

[twinrexes]

I once dated a guy like this. When I met him, he was still dating his last girlfriend and calling her "my semi-ex girlfriend". His "cute" way of saying that he was ready to move on but didn't have the guts to end one relationship before starting another. Once I started seeing him, and he decided we were a couple, he dumped her.

But guess what? He did the same thing to me about a year later!

You could decide to go for it knowing that your colleague is a bit of a player. In that case, proceed with caution! You may get burned and if you do, you're now working right next to your ex and seeing him every day.

Also, is he really that great or are you falling for him because he's paying so much attention to you and making you feel like the prize on the pedestal? Realize that once he's reeled you in he may get bored and you won't feel so special anymore. Then he starts looking for his next challenge.

[Poetic_Partner]

He could be a cad who sleeps around. Or, maybe his current relationship is non-exclusive - either casual or open. Or, he is truly at the end of his current relationship and wants to start one with you.

The only way to know is to clear the air with him and let him know what you're willing to accept with the old gf. If he is in an open relationship, by the way, it would not be out of place for you to insist on talking to the other woman to make sure.

-PP

[Agape]

So he keeps asking me out, including to dancing classes (wanted to join for ages), lunch this week, and music festival in a month... I really don't know what to do! Should I just ask him straight up about his 'situation'?!! Really falling for him...

You could . . .but know what you're getting yourself into . . . if anything it's just short term fun