Im soo mixed up!

[FortyLovebut20]

Hey this is my first post on here.. treat me kindly!

Ok a little history - Im 40, but due to circumstances here and there I haven't had much emotional experience, I have never fallen in love either. Im not sad about this, Ive had many things to accomplish in my life - which I now have, however one of my goals now is to finally get married. Im not panicking about this though, to find 'Mr Right'

I went on a date with gent in question, many months ago, (he's aged 50) I had these feelings I had not experienced before when I met him and we said hello - my feelings inside kind of shocked me...wasn't prepared for it.
Here is my dilemma - although we have met on a handful of occassions since, I think he is fond of me - but I think he has much more control of his emotions than I have... benefit of his maturity, maybe? I dont think he is interested, even though I feel emmense electricity between us, there is definately a spark - and he says Im very attractive

We discussed our feelings...
He says 'it wouldn't work out, long term' We have an awesome friendship, we get on soooo very well. Maybe it is because he has been through the motions and I haven't? Hes divorced, (wife let him down) 1 teen child. I've never been married have/want any children. MY MAJOR prob is that I LOVE being with him, and I just cannot switch off and move on. I have a sneaky feeling though, that he doesn't want me to 'move on'

If I did date another, I am scared I will give him the impression I dont care for him, but I do, I really do! He tells me he goes on other dates... thats ok, but I feel totally blocked from doing this myself! Strange but if I did so, I would feel I was being 'unfaithful' to him OMG how stupid is that - just a date! I wouldn't even sleep with anyone! OHHH GOD someone helpppppp!! Do I move on and just settle for second best? Because thats my prob - I see every other man in the world now, not as good as him GRRRRRRRRR

"just friends" is impossible because the sexual tension between us is too much to bear. Maybe I should let him try and find his miss Right - whilst I regretfully see my potential Mr Right walk out of my life?

[Judie]

Hi! It doesn't seem to me that he is interested in having a long-term relationship with you, maybe he is not looking for a relationship either. However, I don't think there is a point of staying friends with him while your feelings for him keep growing. This is what I think, since you didn't have a chance to experience romance a whole lot earlier (which is great as you had time to focus on your life and career , why don't you move on and give yourself a chance to explore your choices a little better? I'd suggest not keeping in touch with him either, that way, you will have time to get your mind of him, focus on you and your new relationships better. "The first cut is always the deepest", but knowing that it's not going to work, why waste your time? You're definitely not "unfaithful" to him because you're not in an exclusive relationship with him, not from his side at least.

Enjoy!

[FortyLovebut20]

Thank you Judie! I'll try to get on with my life, maybe I should see the world a little more! - but I'm so sad about it, never the less x

[Judie]

It's okay... You must have close friends, family and relatives. Spend more time with them, pursue your hobbies and interests. You'll meet new people before you know it and still be happy about being yourself Good luck!

[Petalcub]

Oh good luck with it all, I feel for you as I know what it is like!

When you really wnat someone and there is the desire but for some reason it cant go ahead.

Im going through somethig like that at the moment. Its such a bloody pain in the arse, although it is nice to have the feelings towards someone.

PC x

[Agape]

Sorry girl, but I'd suggest you move on . . .some reasons why
"I dont think he is interested"
"He says 'it wouldn't work out, long term'"
"He tells me he goes on other dates"

Although you two will do great as friends, friendship isn't what you want - you want to be married. . . I'd suggest trying to find a good guy who want to be married too

[FortyLovebut20]

Its such a bloody pain in the arse

ROFL!!! That just about sums it up!! thank you, and indeed thank you all xx

[Boisdevie]

If you want kids, marriage then you need to find somebody else. Problem is that many men in your age group already have kids and don't want to be fathers again! Personal experience talking here. And why is 'marriage' so important? But good luck. I arrived in France as a single person living in the middle of nowhere at the age of 37 and found somebody. Try plentyoffish.