What can be done?

[kev1987]

Okay, here's my story. I got to know this girl through a teacher's exchange program from Japan 4 months ago and lets call her Misa from here on. I'm 23 and Misa is 30.
After meeting Misa for the first time, we kept in contact. She is teaching in a small town, 8 hours drive from my place. During holidays, I invited her over a couple of times to visit my place and she did since she had some official business over here.
As time passes, I grew fond of her. I don't usually approach girls since I had a few terrible relationships previously. But apparently, Misa is giving me a different perspective.
Last week, I decided to tell her how I feel for her, so I went to her place.
I confessed to her, but she told me, she had a boyfriend from Korea (let's call him Park, 31) for 4 years and because Misa had to travel to other country, they broke up about 2 years ago. Misa is going back to Japan the end of November and meet Park in Korea after that to settle the things which is confusing her.
Every year, Misa would wsh Park during his birthday and he would reply, but this year he called back instead which makes her confused. She added, it's not like she is having any feelings for him nor know anything whether he is married or already moved on, but she just couldn't commit herself to another relationship until she clear things up with him because Park got pissed off and didn't want to meet her at all 2 years ago which left things hanging till now.
She cried when I confessed to her and told me why didn't I tell her earlier.She asked me what I'm expecting from her but she couldn't give me a 'Yes' as an answer because she isn't confident in a distant relationship and neither can give me the happiness I'm looking for once she is back to her own country. She said something like "I definitely want to be your girl if I'm in the same age as you.". I told her to give me some time since I was planning to work over Japan in the first place.
I said go ahead and settle her affairs and I'll wait for her answer till then. She told me not to and I asked her what she wants me to do then? She couldn't answer me as well.
There are things I want to ask her such as "How do you know things will not work out between us if you haven't even tried?" or "Why not give me a No if you can't commit yourself in? At least I'll feel better." but that will just irritate her in the end and if I don't, I don't really feel alright over here because I really don't know what is bothering her and she seems to be stuck in the middle of everything.
I'm out of ideas and I can't just stay in a situation like this forever. Please share what you think I should do or what actions should I take. Thanks.

[MerryH]

She pretty much did tell you no. She basically said, "Well, I've got this other thing going on with this Korean dude so I'm gonna go ahead and see where that goes. Also, you're too young for me and I don't dig on long distance relationships. But, you know, in another life at another time, it could have been pretty cool to be your girlfriend." I really do picture her speaking that way in my head. Like an American male. You should picture it like this, too. It'll soften the blow.

No but seriously, sorry it didn't go the way you wanted it to.

[Poetic_Partner]

Ditto MerryH.

What you CAN do - because it's the right thing to do, but it won't improve your chances much - is continue to be her pen-pal. From the way you describe it, you two have a decent friendship, and there's no reason that can't continue.

Maybe some time off would help? If so, you could write her saying something like:
"Thank you for being my friend. I understand things can't work out romantically between us and I need some time to let that sink in. You won't hear from me for a little while, but I don't want you to think it's because I'm mad at you - I just need time to think things through. Your friend, Kev."

-PP

[princedant]

I think the management here just wants to do what will cost them the least amount of money. However, the traps are not working. Another pest control representative I spoke with said if there is one their will be eight more. So I have no idea how many are in this hotel.

[Agape]

"she had a boyfriend from Korea (let's call him Park, 31) for 4 years"
"she just couldn't commit herself to another relationship until she clear things up with him"

She's got her own problems

-

"I said go ahead and settle her affairs and I'll wait for her answer till then. She told me not to and I asked her what she wants me to do then? She couldn't answer me as well."

Dude, why wait? you're just letting opportunity pass you by

[kev1987]

Thanks for replying people.
Something to clear up, first of, she's not my pen-pal. We do actually see each other since the day we met. Sorry if I didn't made that clear.
Next, I don't really know what else I can do except waiting for her to sort things out for her part because even if I pressure her to give me an answer, that won't pretty much do any difference right?
It's true that it will take like three days for me to convey my feelings to her, but even for that I'll get irritated with myself too, not too mention about her.
So the only conclusion I can figure up till now is suck it up like a guy and see how she response.