still broken

[ginastar]

my ex left me after 6 years of dating and a few months later hes with a new girl (now for almost 2 months) and some days I still hope he comes back to me. whats wrong w me?
I shouldnt want him back after he pulled this, and i guess some days I know this, but some days I have this hope that its really not over and I dont know why exactly. what can I do about this? help

[YouAreBeautiful]

I'm sorry so sorry for her hurt Gina. 6 years of the deep emotional attachment of a relationship and the person drops out of your life completely. The best way of healing is to meet someone new. I know it's hard and you may not even want to, the idea of it can be nauseating, but you deserve it. You deserve happiness and not one moment more of sad. It may or may not be over with your ex, but for now, I think you might try to move on. Maybe some time seeing different people will teach you both something =-). Good luck!

[ginastar]

Thank you so much for the response. I am pretty much up to meet someone new but I havent found anyone that I am interested in and the more I know of him hanging out with this other girl the more hurt I am. I wonder how he can move on so quickly, but I also try not to think about it, but I cant help it. I do what everyone says to go out and keep busy but some times I get very depressed about it all. Im so hurt

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

ya, u need to move on for now. The longer u wait... the more u bcome depressed and sulk on ur hurt. Im not saying someone is gnna take his place in ur heart? But, mayb someone wil build u a new one

[Agape]

You're living in the past . . . but seriously 2 month after 6 years is rather difficult.

I'd suggest focusing on the present and getting support from family and friends, focus your mind on your interests and hobbies . . . also meet some new people who you can relate to.

[ginastar]

Im trying to do all that. Is there any other way to help me move on. I dont even think I could go back with him cause I prob would think about why he did this in the first place but at the same time I want his new relationship to fall apart and I think I would feel somewhat better..what do you think?
Anyway, its hard to meet new people, but I have been trying to for the past two months but I dont know what else to do at this point. How else can I help myself move on?
Do you think he is in a rebound? I did at first but now that its been almost 2 months im assuming he is moving on cause I feel like guys are done with rebounds in less than a month.

[alwaystryin]

Do something awesome like paint your apartment or rearrange the furniture. Something a little drastic can be good for a fresh start. I have a habit if cutting my hair when I want to move on from something. It always feels DIFFERENT! (and it always grows back..) Gives you something to focus on and redirect your energies! Just a few ideas to keep you occupied

[inconf]

Hey Ginastar, I know exactly how you are feeling, my ex broke up with me after 4 years together and it felt like my whole world fell apart.....nothing could snap me out of the thought process of, whats she doing, who's she with, where is she going this weekend, it drove me mad to the point i'd actually drive around places to see if i could see if she was dating someone new (pathetic i know!). I'm over her now, but to be honest it took time, and now i realise thatt is was absolutly the best thing for us!

I'd like to offer you 3 tips that really helped me out:

Accept the Love: Though it sounds counterproductive, you need to accept that you loved them and perhaps, that you might always in some way; so that you can let them go.
Be Number One: Next, it is necessary that you take charge of your life and focus on yourself by motivating yourself towards goals that you are interested in-whether they be in career or personally. More than anything, you will gain confidence that will invigorate you.
Write It Down; If you are experiencing a lot of emotional baggage from the breakup, it is vital that you start writing it all down. Not only is this a good way to vent; but also, a way for your to better see the situation for what it is.

This may sound stupid but it really helped me move on, another thing you might try is re-igniting a passion, be that sports, dancing, surfing, needle craft.....whatever you can do to take your mind of things, and perhaps meet new people?

I hope that helps and that you feel better!
All the best Mark

[ginastar]

thanks mark. how long did it take u to stop thinking of ur ex everyday?

[ElenaD]

Dear,ginastar! Probably you had a big emotional dependence from this man, therefore your cricis now is a quite clear.Often so emotional dependence appears then a person haven`t pivots in his life. There is a easy text for detection ones. If you detection it you will more clear you present state.

[ginastar]

elana, im having trouble understanding you!

[hope555]

Hey Gina,
I don't have TOO much experience to give advice, but maybe it'll help you to know that someone here understands what you're feeling. 2 months after such a long relationship is no time at all. Everyone reacts differently to breakups, and you can't assume what you're feeling is what he's feeling. Everyone has their own way of coping with the loss...for some its moving on to someone else, for others its feeling sad. It doesn't matter if he's in a rebound or not...it matters that you think of yourself and get yourself strong and back to the awesome self you were! Its ok to feel sad and depressed. Give yourself time to feel these things, and don't feel bad that you feel this way. Accept the sadness but know that you have to move on. This comes with time. Take it one step at a time, and make yourself do productive things everyday so you feel better about yourself. If once in a while you need to just cry on the couch, you can do that...but don't get too stuck in the sadness. Time will heal everything. Good luck, and I hope you start feeling much better very soon
-Hope

[ginastar]

thanks! it actually made me cry to read ur post...this is what a mess i am right now! have u ever been through this?

[hope555]

I'm going through it right now...but it doesn't compare to your situation. We were dating for only 10 months, and we completed our break up a month ago. He was my first real love though, so I still know the feeling of missing someone, and thinking maybe they'll come back and recreate all those amazzzing moments you had together. But I have accepted this can't ever happen again...at least not till we give each other some space. In fact, during this space, I realized he's not deserving of the kind of genuine, unconditional love I gave him...a lot of people might not be? Anyway...hang in there...and talk on here..it helps me a lot!

[hope555]

PS: you're not a mess! you're just fine. I had moments when I would sit at work looking at the computer screen with tears in my eyes for no reason...thats how much my heart hurt and felt empty and void. I'm feeling better nowdays more like myself...so we all seem like messes, but with time, we get back to ourselves I think.