Don't want to break up!

[Dolly_Girl]

Hi there,

basically my boyfriend and i split up a couple of weeks ago after nearly 4 years.
It came as a great shock to the system although in a way it was kind of expected. something was not quite right for a while and i know it! i always thought it was something we could work on together though.

basically, it concluded as him saying he knows he needs to be on his own right now. there have been a few times where he has questioned if he loves me or not and has brought it up. but everytime i've said to him he needs to decide because its not fair on either of us, he has turned around and got all upset saying he doesn't want to make a mistake and lose me.
he even once told me that he would just wait for me to decide what i wanted and what i think is right because he wanted the best for me, or something.

and now we have split up. we have spoken a few times on the phone, both about the breakup and generally. i dont want to completely cut him out of my life and start thinking about everything i hate about him and how much he has ruined my life etc etc.

i cant say i have accepted it, it broke my heart, but i have been carrying on with my life fine and surrounding myself with friends.

i saw him at the weekend just gone as we live apart so hadn't actually seen each other when we split.
it was so good to see him but sad at the same time. we went out for dinner and had the best time- we have always got on really well.
i ended up staying in his hotel and we ended up... you know!
he admitted he is still very attracted to me.

do you think he just needs a break and some time to himself or is this it and i need to accept it?
i try not to contact him unless he contacts me because i respect that what he needs is space.
but do you think there's a chance that after having sufficient space he wont want it anymore and come back?
or not?

x

[msingell]

after 4 years, his doubts regarding whether or not he loves you is bogus. if you can live in his never ending uncertainty, then continue seeing him and having a "good time" but if youre wanting to have "real times" with someone, he doesnt sound able to do that. youre not asking for too much, dont lower your aspirations for a relationship, no one is worth that compromise.