2.5 years seems to be the lucky number.

[Matt347]

Ok so I feel like I almost know the responses I'm going to get from reading most of the posts here, but I just want to get this off my chest and talk about it.

Im 21 and my ex girlfriend is 19. We broke up only a week and a half ago and we are currently friends still. After 2.5 years I was honestly beginning to relax and picture myself marrying this girl someday. She always was pushing marriage a little because even though we are young, lots of friends and peers from high school were married already. Well even after 2.5 years I felt things were still strong between us, like I had no doubt that things were going to be fine. We were arguing more and more though but it was never anything serious, we were always able to get by them and move along. Then she got a job at Best Buy, and thats when things got a little different.
Heres a little background on our history of jealousy. We both were always very jealous of interacting with the opposite sex, but because of this we were alright, knowing we only wanted each other and that if we were jealous we looked at it as a sign that we were passionate about each other. As far as jealousy she would always make sure if i was hanging out with friends that there would be no girls there, and i would do the same, and she also made me purge my facebook and myspace friends list of girl and vice versa. Well I should of known better when she suddenly wasn't being jealous anymore and was beginning to act angry upon me being jealous of other guys towards her.
And shes an honest girl and was breaking it slowly towards me that she might be hanging with some friends from work and there might be guys. Of course I was angry about this and acted upset and made her feel guilty about it. Well few days later she came out and said that she might be atttracted to some guys at work and that is was only physical though. I of course was upset and couldn't believe what I was hearing. That there were guys she works with everyday that she thought was hot or whatever. Well a couple of days later she broke the real bad news, and that was there was a guy at work that has turned into more than just a physical attraction and that she wanted to pursue this. I was shocked, but ironically when she told me this, it was the first time I have kept my cool and acted mellow about the whole situation. I was proud of the way I acted since the only thing I wanted to do at the point was anything except have a level headed conversation about the situation. Well we talked about it and she actually wanted to stay in a relationship with me while she figures this out. And I, wanting nothing more than her agreed that I would wait by her side till she realized what she wants.
Ugh well that where I start to lose my cool, and I was listening to other people give me advice when I should of just listened to myself I guess. Everyone I talked to, even her best friend who has helped me through this situation told me to give her the ultimatum. Choose me or him... I gave it to her 3 different times and it just ended with us arguing and she would never choose. The sad thing is I just wanted this to be over, but I couldn't end it for my sake. I asked her please just for me choose, but she always said there were things she needs to figure out on her own. I'll skip past the next couple of days which was just me acting calm and waiting, and then one day she texted me to meet her at her house after i was done with work. I pretty much knew this was going down that it was over. It went well actually, we pretty much just talked about how its for the best and she kept trying to tell me its not this guy and that she just needs to find "herself". I'm not going to lie but I think there is a little bs on that line if anyone wants to add there input on that they are welcome. But she talked how she has always been in a relatioship since high school and wants to go some time being single, despite the fact that shes talking and pursuing another guy. Thats one of the only things that really bother me right now. Anyways since then we've been talking and texting a little and we both talked about how there is still something between us, but of course she is finding herself right now. We even hungout the other night, but just as friends of course and nothing else. Ugh and its so annoying, she texts that guy from work like the whole time we are hanging and I asked her if she could not text so much and she said she would try but to no avail did the texting slow down. And now I know some of the sweet things hes done for her at work which made me question how I will ever be able to when her heart back? I seriously think, how can a 2.5 year relationship that has slowed down compete with the exciting new thrill of young love. Like i feel so helpless, idk what to do anymore. I think I gave everything I had into making her fall in love with me the first time.
I just never thought I would be so emotional over one girl, and no matter how much people keep telling me I'm young and to just move forward, its not as easy as you think. Shes my first love, and we just have so much history between us and I can't believe thats not enough for her to reconsider. I've never knew of depression until now, it took me like 4 days to finally force something down my throat when this whole situation began. I never knew I could cry as much as i did, just looking at pictures of us made me tear up. And I feel like shes giving me hope that possibly things could work out in the end for us. Its like I have this second chance but i don't know what to do with it. I just don't feel like im in a sitaution where i can wow her anymore. Like if I act romantic and try and ask her back out, she'll say something like I appreciate it but i need to find myself. And i know I can just probably give her time and her space but then I feel like shell fall into the hands of the guy from work. they haven't even hungout yet btw, they just work alot together.
idk I'm just rambling right now cause there is just soo much going through my mind right now. Do any of you guys think i have a chance with her. Do you think i would just be better to forget about her and move on. Ill give some final feedback on me and her. Im very nice, but can be antisocial at times. I hardly talk to people unless they talk to me first. Never had luck picking up chics but i somehow got to know this girl since she was friends with some of my friends. She is probably one of the nicest people around you will ever meet. She can be indecisive but has always been about caring for others. She also outta my league as far as looks are concerned which is why i always counted myself so lucky. Life was just perfect for me before all this happened. I was wish things were back to the way they were. I wish i knew how to get things back to the way they were.

[zion565]

Hey man I read the whole thing and it sounds like you are my twin brother or something. I am going through the exact same thing right now, but my ex is emotionally unstable at the moment. I think the best thing you can do to win her back is do your own thing, work on fitness, self confidence and just be her friend. Don't fall under her spell, make it clear that she has to make a choice between you and this other guy/situation. You have to be a man about it, tell her that you will offer her your full love and attention like you always have for the last 2.5 years and that you won't ever change. Even say that you are fine with her having male friends and that you trust her enough to be loyal to you, trust is everything in a relationship and you are getting to the age where jealousy can get in the way. You need to get rid of that jealousy and realise that all girls that you are with will always have male friends. If you sense that something is ACTUALLY going on then investigate yourself before throwing accusations at her. Your best bet here is to focus on yourself and stay friends with this girl. Try not to contact her too much because this will seem needy, let her miss you a bit. Let her feel like shes made a mistake by leaving you. And if nothing happens by you easing off a bit then you know she has really moved on and you need to aswell.