He stopped calling after a week-- why?

[starlet2010]

I feel so unlovable, ugly and undeserving of love. My 20 year old sister hooked me up with this cuban guy she friended on myspace. I started talking/texting him on the phone and about a week or two later he slowly stopped calling/texting me.

He'd say he'd call or text at a certain time and then he wouldn't. Or, he'd not call/text for days at a time and then call/text me days later acting as if everything was all fine.

I don't know what I did wrong and I feel like a worthless piece of crap-- not deserving a guy's love and affection. This was my first relationship-- now I feel like all my relationships will end the same way (rejection).

How do I get over this fear of rejection and what did I do wrong to make him completely stop calling/texting?

[Lovable]

Have you not met this guy in person?

If it was only an online/phone thing then it's really not a relationship.

He may have gotten busy, lost his phone, who knows? Have you tried to text him just to say HI & see if he responds?

[starlet2010]

I never met him in person-- because of money issues (I didn't have a job). As soon as we started talking he wanted me to visit him (he lives in Florida and I'm from Ohio).

He offered to pay for my airplane ticket but I was kind of worried about meeting him in person because I'd just met him. So, he got kind of upset and impatient. He wanted to see me right away. But-- he had known my sister who hooked us up for about 2 years and he accepted the fact that she wasn't going to meet him until they knew each other well. He called/texted her ALL the time. He never did that with me.

I am not sad about him basically rejecting me... I'm more heartbroken knowing there's something about me-- that some guy out there doesn't like about me. I was very nice to him and don't know what I did to make him stop calling/texting.

I did call and text him after him not calling or texting for about a week and it didn't phase him that we hadn't talked in a week.

[xxazurexx]

It wasn't a relationship for starters. This was some guy your sister fixed you up to meet and it didn't happen.

What was the urgency in this guy wanting to meet you straight away? I'd be wary of a guy who didn't take some time out to get to know me and before meeting.

I also think you need to be asking the question 'Why do I allow myself to get devastated over a man I've never met and known 2 minutes online'? .....rather than ask to why a strange guy didn't call you back.

He didn't call you back and because there is nothing there between you for him to want to call you back....you don't know each other. And the fact he didn't call back when you refuse to meet him straight off the bat, tells me that this guy was either looking for an easy lay, or he's looking for a visa into your country as as quickly as possible.

People are rejected every day, you aren't the first and you won't be the last - it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, that you are ugly or unworthy of a mans love. What rejection means is, is that this man is not the right one for you.

[Boisdevie]

Forget him and try to find somebody nearer to where you live

[YouAreBeautiful]

Getting over the fear of rejection never eases completely. People become more guarded in relationships as you go on. First relationships are so uninhibited it's a shame that so very few survive. It's harder for people to open up after experiencing something like this. It will take time to heal. Usually months a few or a lot depends on the depth of the relationship, the time you were together, and the quality of the relationship. You will get over it eventually. The best thing to do to help move on is to find someone else. This can help us forget the past completely, but this can't happen until you are ready and are partially healed. It will happen in time. Patience is the only thing that will get you through unfortunately. There are no quick fixes for broken hearts.

[StillInShock]

That's typical male behavior, unfortunately. I think he just lost patience with the situation, after having experienced something similar before.

[twinrexes]

Hey, I think xxazurexx is right. Sounds like this guy might have been interested in a visa, not a relationship.

Anyway, it's very true that guys can disappear (not call you) for days or even weeks and think nothing of it. Sometimes they even do it to see how you'll react. They are testing you to make sure you're not going to be too needy or suffocating. Most guys need space and want to make sure they can get it!

So in the future, if a guy who seems really interested suddenly backs off, do the unexpected. Call or text him in a week or two and act like you didn't even notice. If he says something like "sorry I haven't been in touch" tell him you've been busy and didn't even notice. He'll think you're awesome for not being upset.

Above all, don't start thinking there's something wrong with YOU. I know, that's so easy to do, because you don't know his real reasons for backing off so you start guessing. And the first thing you guess is that you weren't good enough to keep his interest.

Here's a funny story: I know someone who spent hours on the phone with on of her girlfriends trying to figure out why her guy had been so distant recently. Finally it turned out he was all upset about some engine problem he was having with his car and he just couldn't focus on anything else. NOTHING to do with the girl but she drove herself nuts thinking it was all her fault.

[Rminhammer]

That seems like a fake hookup..considering if you havent even met this guy and the guy hasnt met you, he cant have feelings for you.