A little luck would be nice...

[Void]

Hello to you all,

I have a painful situation and hope you people can clear a few things up for me.

Me:
I'm a 20 year old guy who never had a girlfriend before...
Why didn't I have a girlfriend or some kind of relationship before? The reason was that I never was realy intressted in all the dating and stuff until I was around 17 years old.
To clear some things up I had a good youth, nice family and all, I have good friends (including more girls then guys).
I don't go out that much, mostly 1 time a week. My other free time goes to school and my computer. When I ask my friends what they think of me they mostly say I'm funny, friendly and a very good listener. I'm not ugly I'm around 1.90 m and am skinny no fat but not much muscles either , no glasses (not that I think glasses are or make you ugly but I think it's somehting I also need to mention). I also need to mention maybe that I never was in love before untill that day...

The Story:
To tell the whole situation would be to long so I'l try and keep it short.
I met a girl (we didn't speak but a friend knew her a bit and they talked for a few min and we departed) and didn't saw her again for almost a year.

3 and a half month ago I was watching some facebook and came by her profile by chance.
I invited her and started talking with her on facebook then we moved on the msn and then we exchanged numbers and sometimes texted eachoter till late at night and a few weeks later I asked if she had time to meet with me ( we don't live far apart so I asked if we could meet in Antwerp)

She agreed and a few days later we where walking and we talking( When I first saw her again I fel in love instantly she is beautiful, smart and funny I never felt something before for anyone before).
The talking went very smooth in my opinion no unpleasant silences etc. We ate something went tro some shops and afther that she invited me to her ( I don't know the correct english term but she is also a student and she rents a room in the city) when we came there we talked for a few hours and I departed. that same evening we texted.

A week later I asked her out again,(everthing went very smooth again) and then It happend I walked her home and before I left I told her that I liked her... (I was like OMG what did I just say this is only the second time I met her, it was stronger then myself) One thing I forgot to mention is that she broke up 3 months ago with her Boyfriend who she was with for 3 years (he cheated on her)
She then told me that she didn't felt in love with me and that she didn't knew if she would fall in love again so fast afhter her previous relationship, she also told me that she woulden't treat me diffrend then before.

Now it's a few weeks later we met 2 more times not much has changed (she even invited me 1 of the times) we text eachoter now and then and chat daily on msn.

The Pain:
I'm a total mess afther that day... Everyday is a empty, dark, voidy day with no happiness no joy, and she is the only thing I can think about. I told some of my closesed friends the situation and they all said I shouldn't give up and still meet her and be myself around her. But I don't know what to do with myself...

I feel a lot better posting this here and hope some people reply on it.

Thanks in advance,
Void

PS : sorry for (m)any english spelling errors.

[Agape]

Well it's an understandable situation . . . you feel in "love" too fast and this girl is getting over a ex-boyfriend who cheated on her . . . you don't want to be some rebound do you?

Doesn't look like she wants a relationship . . .probably best to move on.

[zion565]

I think you should shift gears DOWN. Be friendly be flirty but not too flirty. Keep your meetings exciting and have fun with her. You dont need to spend a heap of cash on her just do fun things and talk to her, listen to what she says and look into her eyes when she talks. Sooner or later she will notice that you pay a lot of attention to her and that you like her a lot, she will begin to feel more and more comfortable around you and want to see you more until finally she will realise that you are great boyfriend material. My advice just take it slow and enjoy yourself! Worst case scenario you have a great friend who is also easy on the eyes

[Void]

Well we have seen eachoter a few times again (And it didn't came from my side alone) we text now and then and chat on msn alot.
I'm trying not to over do myself but I have a feeling that everytime I think damn I'm sending to much or should I ask her out again? At those moments I try to avoid contact but it is at those moments that she text me or asks me out...

There are many things bugging me, but the one I worry about is that she is keeping so close contact because she feels bad or sorry for me and that's just sooo wrong...
Well see always seems like having a good time and she is very open to me about everything (and she is so goddame cute ><) it's just something that's keeping me focused.
She even asked one time if I wanned to go out with her and some friends (to bad I couldn't go that night man was I pissed xD)
Are there any signs or things I need to pay attantion to find it out if she is keeping contact out of pitty?

I just have this strange feeling that I can't give up on her, I just like her to much and I know that I would do anything to make her happy

PS: Thanks for the previous reply's it's nice to get some respones.

[zion565]

Theres only one thing you can do to know the truth and thats ask her to be honest with you.

[xxazurexx]

She obviously likes you and a lot. Trouble is, she isn't over her ex and so long as she remains hung up on him, you stand NO CHANCE at all of a relationship with her. Most females are not wired and to be able to jump ship 'that' easily. It can take us a long time and to get over a past relationship and the last thing we are looking to do and if we are still hung up on some guy, is to get involved elsewhere.
When we desire one guy, we usually feel no desire for another - and no matter how nice you are, however much you try to convince us that you are different, etc, etc, nothing will change and until we are over the last guy. We can't be convinced to move on and we don't move on until we are ready too.

Maybe she just needs more time, ya know

[Void]

@ xxazurexx
Well she can have all the time she needs ^^, I have no idea how you can feel afhter 3 years in a relationship (cause I never had a relationshp before, not even close to one) and then get cheated on but I got the feeling it most be horrible...
And even if she never is goeing to love me I will still try and be a support and stay friends cause she is a nice person and doesn't deserve to be unhappy.

[YouAreBeautiful]

Do you know if she was physically attracted to you. One way to know is to look at your profile picture. Were you representing yourself accurately in those or do you look different in your picture. If she knew what you looked like clearly and there was no confusion then you are fine in that department. If not, my advice would be too make yourself up a little better, take her for one more date. Wear a cologne, get a girls advice on the best clothes to wear. Presentation can make a big difference to women. It sounds like your online relationship was just fine. It sounds like she may have been on the rebound when she met you, but you haven't really hard a fling so I can't really say had her rebound and is done. It was something about the personal meeting from the sound of it and I believe you can fix it with my advice. Presentation, Presentably, Presentation. I can't stress it enough. Collared shirt, good fitting jeans, nice shoes, cologne. You will be irresistible =) I promise.

[Void]

@YouAreBeautiful
Well my profile picture and all was accurate with the reallity, and everytime I meet with her I always try and give extra attantion to my looks and everything.
I'm certanly going to follow your advice and ask some female friends for advice about my cloths cause normaly I don't care what I am wearing I just take the cloths that are on top XD (exept if I meet with her ofc)