He mentions private stuff in front of others - why?

[xxazurexx]

I've been seeing a guy for 11 months now, it started out with dating but then he said he didn't want anything serious so we just started having casual sex, which I'm fine with.

Anyways, I've always assumed that he didn't want his friends to know about us seeing each other, cause I'm guessing he wants his options open for other girls.

But lately I've been hanging out a lot with him and his friends cause I've become friends with them as well. And every time we've been together he has said stuff implying that we've been intimate in front of his as well as my friends.

Examples given;

He tries to spray whipped cream in my mouth, I say: "Don't put anything in my mouth" to which he loudly replies "been there, done that!". He also said some things regarding when I've given him oral sex and hand jobs. And we were joking about him playing with dildos, I said "then we know what you do every saturday night" and he says in front of everyone "well, you've slept over quite the few saturdays at my place so...".

Etc etc.

This doesn't bother me, but I'm just curious to know in general, why do guys do this? I would never say anything like that, especially since we're not in a relationship, in front of others.

One thing is for sure, he doesn't respect you.

He talks about you to his friends and in front of you, like you are some whore.

Men do not share such personal and private info with his friends, if it's a woman he cares about and loves.

[xxazurexx]

But do you really think that it has something to do with him not wanting me to get close to any of his friends? Cause I've befriended two of his closest guy pals and I've hung around them A LOT lately, every weekend....

His view will be, that if you can shag him 'that' easily, who is to say you won't shag his friends 'that' easily too.....

And his friends are probably sniffing around you, hoping they get some of what he got and as easy as he did.

GET WISE FFS!!!

[hellcat84]

Hm, could be!

My friend had a theory that he (A, the guy I have sex with) is jealous of his friend, M, since I'm always talking to him and calling him instead of A, making plans with him and talking about stuff that A doesn´t know everything about, but he is obviously curious about the things me and M are up to.

So he is like "marking his territory" in front of his friend to let him know that he won't be getting any. At least that's what my friend thinks, I sort of asked M about it as well and he just said that "that's just the way he is." AND YES, I know he doesn't want a relationship, this is not a problem and it has nothing to do with the situation.

Thats whats happening, I mean why would he bother asking you if you were having sex with guy C or M or B or whatever, maybe this is just casual sex but this guy is trying to tie you down essentially it's alright if he sleeps with the rest of the neighbour hood but he's gonna do everything he can to ensure he keeps his mitts in the honey pot and everybody else's out. Shorty I used to do this kinda stuff to girls all time but I did it a little different

(created the image that I might come around and date them if they kept putting out and that I wasn't really sleeping with other people even though the deal was open. Acting like I liked them Id just been hurt before and this seemed safer and if they stayed true to me when they didn't have too i could trust them / they pass the secret test. If you play it right girls jump on it and you can keep 5 different girls tied down this is a different way playing more on his friends then you but it's the same thing)

This is tactics and allot of people will say abuse but this shit only works if you let it. Listen to the older girls on the forum their giving you good advice they've likely seen all this shit and things like this are way easier to see from the outside then they are when your in it. Their are thousands of guys out their that go home alone every night because they refuse to mind F&@K women and use tactics like these if your looking for casual sex Id find one of them they won't take your generosity for granted like this guy.

For what it's worth the whole friends with benefits thing is almost always a mess.

[ssh]

Wow, thanks for all the replies guys, you've really given me something to think about!

I recently found out that he hasn't been sleeping around with anyone else, but it doesn't matter really. He is still acting the way he is for some stupid reason.

Now my question is, how do you think I should approach this?

[xxazurexx]

Now my question is, how do you think I should approach this? ...

You quit having sex with him and boot the jerk from your life. Move on and find a 'decent' guy who respects you and who won't want to discuss your private shit with the world.

[ssh]

You quit having sex with him and boot the jerk from your life. Move on and find a 'decent' guy who respects you and who won't want to discuss your private shit with the world.

Damn I should, it's just that the sex is really good, and I easily get comfortable being with just one person... The other guys I've been with during this period just felt... wrong. Also, he is EXTREMELY good-looking, waaaay out of my league. I don't have feelings for him, I'm just really attracted, which makes it so hard...