Girlfriend for 3 years went out with another guy?

[dnuoblleh]

Hi,

I found out a couple of days ago that my girlfriend went out with another guy several times. I immediately broke up with her, despite her saying nothing serious happened between them. She said she only did it 'cause of the way I was neglecting her lately - to her defense, I sort of was taking her for granted lately.

Now she wants to have a talk with me to fix our relationship. Should I have the talk with her? Did I do the right thing breaking the relationship up?

I desperately need advice.


Thanks in advance.

[VincenzoG91]

Leave her in the dumpster.

If she was bothered about the relationship, she should have either broken up with you or tried to work with you on the problems. Cheating is low and despicable. Now that you know she can't be trusted, you are free to find someone better.

[girl68]

don't take her back.

but you need to learn your lesson too. taking your partner for granted and not showing them appriciation will untimately lead to problems in the way of disrespect, cheating, lack of sex and emotional disconnect. It's a sure fire way of a breakdown of relationship.

either way, she shouldn't have cheated but instead come to you with her problems. but what's done is done don't redo the past.

[BreakingPoint]

I echo what both posters before me said.

If she actually went out on a date with another dude at the first sign of trouble in your relationship, then she's not for you. You're better off without.

[hello1]

Did she try and talk to you about how she was feeling? if not and she just went out looking for other guys, dump her for good. She could talked too you first

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

Eh, i say you guys talk it out. You both were at wrong and you both need a second chance to see if it will get better. If it dont? Then... you guys wont have the "What if?" Kk good luck

[sweetkissesforu]

Relationships need work and time try some romantic gesters and comunication ask what she wants from the relationships most of all men need to start thinking lkie a woman
lol joking

[VincenzoG91]

Don't bother talking to her. What would a hypothetical future hold for you two?

For example:

He left the toilet seat up again. Guess I will go out with the cable guy again tonight.

He missed the hamper. I wonder if my salsa dancing instructor is free this weekend?

I don't like the way he holds his fork. That teenage boy next door is going to get lucky again.

[dnuoblleh]

Thanks for the responses, everyone. I'm really not sure how to handle this correctly. I've only had 1 serious relationship before this one.

About her not trying to work things out.., she did I guess. She did talk to me about feeling smothered and my taking her for granted at times. I assumed these problems are normal for working couples who have their separate places. And we were working on our relationship when this happened.

Anyway, I have 2 days to decide. I'm not sure I can ever trust her again. I really love her and thought she's the one I would settle down with, but I don't think I can ever forget this incident.

[Ariadne]

I think you should at least talk to her. Not necessarily get back with her but I think it would help for you guys to have a conversation about what exactly went wrong so you can know what to do to prevent that from happening again in the future.

[ochriso]

Talk to her, see if she wants a serious relationship where you can trust each other.

If so, give it a shot.

[VincenzoG91]

Sounds suspicious to me. How could she be feeling both neglected and taken for granted and yet also "smothered?" That doesn't make any sense.

[justcheckin]

what do you mean by "hang out"?

she went on a few dates, or just meet up for coffee a few times? They went to each others houses... what?

[dnuoblleh]

Sounds suspicious to me. How could she be feeling both neglected and taken for granted and yet also "smothered?" That doesn't make any sense.

She complained about me not being as caring as I used to, not taking her out or visiting her as often.

The "smothering" is my fault, there were points in our relationship when I was overly suspicious of her. I'd call her asking where she was - i know, not good.
If my suspisions that time were correct, i wouldn't know. She said the going out only happened recently.

what do you mean by "hang out"?

she went on a few dates, or just meet up for coffee a few times? They went to each others houses... what?

She said they were only friendly dates, that they'd only talk. She admitted though that the guy confessed to having feelings for her.

[justcheckin]

She complained about me not being as caring as I used to, not taking her out or visiting her as often.

The "smothering" is my fault, there were points in our relationship when I was overly suspicious of her. I'd call her asking where she was - i know, not good.
If my suspisions that time were correct, i wouldn't know. She said the going out only happened recently.




She said they were only friendly dates, that they'd only talk. She admitted though that the guy confessed to having feelings for her.

uho dude, get away from that love triangle. She is tagging this guy along, and she confirmed it by telling you that "he likes her." That means that they have obviously talked, and either she "kinda likes him too" or she at least is making him think that she likes him. From my experience, if it looks like BS, and it smells like BS, then sorry to say it, but its BS no matter how you spin it. I always trust my gut. Sometime I am to ignorant to believe it though.