[PLEASE READ THE START OF POST #9, IGNORE THIS POST]
I don't like myself at the moment. Do not assume that I am depressed, because that is not true. I don't feel valuable to anyone. Social standing and reputation have become very important to me over the last few years, however, I am something of a drifter and an individual. I cannot rectify this now, but I hope it is the source of the problem.
A relationship is the solution to my problem precisely because it is undeniable proof that I am valued by people not related to me by blood. More importantly, I am valued as a man and this would complete my transformation from boy to man. I can only assume that my ego would grow outwards and I would achieve mental maturity as well. To me, my first romantic experience would give me the surge of confidence I need to be more optimistic.
Is this a delusion? Do I need a fresh start to remove my reputation as a drifter? Is social image as important to romance as I imagine?