what is wrong with this guy?not a relationship question but a sensitive issue...

[grantqw]

what is wrong with this guy?not a relationship question but a sensitive issue...
What is with this guy?
i know this drummer who i'm supposed friends with at my gym,and he is very complimentary about my guitar playing etc.....but it just seems in some way he seems to hate on my race(i'm asian)i can't understand this,because he has a black girlfriend and this is losangeles which is a melting pot,in alot of ways he's very complimentary and acts like a buddy ,but i don't get where he is coming from with him not lking asians etc.....i'm thinking about just dropping him and not having any contact with him and just being an acquiantance.I just don't understand why he would act like my friend,but have something against the culture i'm from.....He tries to act all positive,but why such negativity towards thie certain issue?He's a fellow musician,and i just see him at a certain gym.I don't have to go to that gym,but i'm just wondering if this is an upbringing thing with him?Like i said he's a cool guy and really funny and nice,but i just don't understand him in this instance..
he even asked me to go to lunch with him one day when i came back to that gym although i declined...anyway,it's just the way he comes across towards me in a sarcastic way about being asain etc...never any slurs,but then he acts like a buddy most of the time and is so complimentary of my music...... I just feel so stabbed in the back by him when he acts like that.I know he is joking because he is a supposed"buddy",but i'm thinking about just cutting tiesd with him.I can't believe i gave him my phone number,congratulated him on his engegement,and even talk to this guy anymore.It's like this comes when i least expect it with him...

[johnbeckettson]

sigh...good luck

[MerryH]

It's one thing if he's just making stupid jokes about Asians, it's another if he's being overtly racist and terrible. Both are pretty bad, but only the former is somewhat forgivable.

If it's just dumb jokes and you still want to be his friend, you've got to call him on it somehow. Next time he pulls that, just look him dead in the eye and say, "You're really focused on me being Asian. Why do you talk about it so much?" or something. Hopefully the outcome of this would be him stammering to find a good enough reason to say aloud, feeling really embarrassed, and never bringing it up again.

But, this guy isn't even a close friend. If you don't even want to deal with this bullshit anymore, just don't. Easy.

[MerryH]

Holy shit, this thread is really old.

**** you, johnbeckettson, for bumping really old threads with nonsense. Grrr.

[Liam_680]

maybe he expresses himself in the wrong way but he may mean well.