First off, i wanna thank everyone who actually reads other's problems and trys to help them!
So i had a really long post typed and hit something and it closed the window...and its too much to retype soo ill try and shorten it.
Ok so long story short...
Right now i am in a relationship for 14 months now. Its been off and on and we were actually at one point in time engaged. I do love my boyfriend, hes an amazing guy! He loves me beyond words, cant get enough of me, will do anything for me, is there for me through thick and thin. He just wants me to be happy. He wants me to be the mother of his child. Really right now we are all each other has got. Our friends got jealous and decided to not be our friends anymore...
So my problem. As you can probably gather so far, my boyfriend loves me and hes an amazing guy. Im lucky i found him, and honestly hes the best i ever had. Soo why do i want to be with my ex from 2 years ago, that i was only with for 4 months?! I cannot get him off my mind. Every little thing reminds me of him. I broke my boyfriends trust by going behind his back to hang out with my ex cuz i missed him and wanted to catch up. My ex and i have been texting each other since we broke up almost 3 years ago. So its not like we lost contact or anything. My ex is now dating the girl who i thought he was cheating on me with back in the day cuz he was always with her it seemed. He claims nothing was going on, but i just got jealous and didnt wanna believe that, so i left him. Now hes been on and off with her and im just frustrated. He claims he just took her back not too long ago cuz she kept crying to him. Anyway this past week my ex and i have been hangin out...my bf dont know and his gf dont know. WE ARE NOT CHEATING just hanging out and talking about things.
Anyway i think my ex and i have feelings for one another in some way shape or form. I know i deff have strong feelings for him and if the chance came, i would prolly leave my bf now to be back with him. I just dont wanna walk away from a good guy if im just gonna be a loner in the world. As bad as it sounds i wanna make sure id be able to get back with my ex before leavin my bf. Although it would be hard. My ex is just sending me so many mixed signals right now and i dont know what to do. Do i stay with my bf and see how things go? Do i leave him and try and get my ex back? I feel like my ex has the majority of my heart and i cant break away from that. I LOVE HIM and as much as i want him back in my life i also dont wanna hurt a really good guy.