How to be normal and be close again?

[Saya]

I live with my bf and whenever my bf and I have fights, it make us distance and not as close....
How do we get back to normal routine and be close again?
Does having sex and be intimate help? In a way, this helps but if your not in the mood then you can't really have sex.
Not sure if you understand what I'm saying.... but hopefully someone can help me and give me advice.

[carl1222]

Sex doesn't do anything to fix a troubled relationship. What sort of things do you fight over?

Carl.

[Saya]

I know sex doesn't do anything to fix a troubled relationship.

After having fights and everything get sort out....I just want to be close and be normal, smiling and enjoying the relationship like we used to be...but because of the fights it's hard to be close and normal again for like 2-3days....

[RockNRoll]

Don't use sex to cover troubles.

Do you really resolve the reason of the fights? You might get closer by speaking your mind and talking over your fights in a calm and caring manner. Maybe you feel distant, because you don't handle fights right yet? If these are not big issues, you should feel closer after you shared your emotions and problems, understood each other and found some solution.

How long are you living together? Is there any specific reason for fights?

[Saya]

I suppose main reason of the fight is because my fault... it's probably due to my stress problem... I don't think we ever had fight over anything beside my stress....
Whenever I stress I get sad, upset and be really emotional.... I really hate stressing out...
I don't know how to control my stress... Maybe I stress out once a month...sometimes it is ok and I would feel fine but other times it's bad and I hate getting my bf involve with my stress.
Whenever I stress out, I push my bf away, he comes close and want to know what is wrong.... I kept telling him that I'm stressed and I need my own time to solve things by myself, but sometimes he won't give me space and he comes and give me affection/love/caring etc....and I get more upset, stress and I'll end up pushing away my bf and hurting me and he get upset and everything gets worst.......sighs
When we aren't fighting, our relationship is so good. We are always happy and laughing/smiling lots. One of his friend always asks as if we ever fight coz we are so close and always happy with each other when we aren't fighting and obviously that his friend has never seen us fighting.
We've been living together for hmm, 8month now.

[RockNRoll]

That sounds quite good then Just don't blame yourself. We all have moments, when we can't control ourselves. You need to find ways to let out your stress (many people find sports helpful, for example) and the best way to calm down. Think it over on your own and then have a good talk with your bf about this situation. He obviously wants to help you to deal with it, just let him know how to do it (make sure he really understands). If you need to be on your own for a bit, just go for a walk or something like that. If you find it a good idea, let him know now, that you may do like that some time and then come back calm and maybe ready for a talk. Oh yes, and let him know that he is not the reason of your stress, give hime a clue what it is about. You may also ask, how he deals with stress and what advices he would give. What kind of support would he like to get from you if he is stressed himself.
That's the only problem you have, it's not that huge and I believe you'll get a system to deal with it. Good luck

[xxazurexx]

After each and every argument a couple has, the wedge between them gets wider and especially if they don't know how to communicate or aren't communicating

You need to get that stress under control and quit pushing him away and start communicating. Or you will lose him....and most likely to another woman.