Do I tell my ex that I love him?

[tiredconfused]

We were together for a year and two months - I broke up with him becaus of a number of reasons, mainly because I thought we were too young to be so serious (we broke up just before my seventeenth birthday) and now it's been about a year since. We've been getting really close lately, and kiss and basically act how we use to. Except we haven't even spoke of a 'relationship'.
The other night, a girl was pestering him on msn and asking if he'd let her kiss him - and he was asking for me to help him, but I didn't now what to say because I don't know where I stand really. He said 'I do like her, she's nice but she broke up with my friend only the other week. I think i'm just the rebound'.
Eventually we told her he didn't want a relationship because he wanted to focus on his work. I feel jealous and angry. What if he didn't feel like just a rebound? Will he abandon me and whatever 'this' is when someone similar comes along? Or does he want to be with me and doesn't want to ruin things by forcing the 'relationship' issue, seeing as that's why we broke up? I'm just really confused. Help?

[KimberlyH]

You should tell him how you feel, just ask him hyperthetically about the relationbship between you both. ask him what he would think of it

[tiredconfused]

Thanks, I guess that's the obvious thing to do. I'm just scared of what he might say. I will tonight, and will probably post later with an update.

[KimberlyH]

It might be good you never know, hope it goes well.
if you's are still close im sure he wouldnt hurt you.. plus if he didnt want a relationship then i dont think he wud get close toyou without wanting something more

[tiredconfused]

Ok so I spoke to him and he said we should stop and concentrate on schoolwork. Then the following day he said he wanted to talk again and that he doesnt think what he said was actually what he wanted, so I told him how I felt and he said he felt the same.. but now we're like 'now what?'

I don't wanna propose being boyf and girlf again if he doesn't want that. He says he sorta thought we were seeing each other but then asked me what should we do? Like maybe he did want to go out?

I keep chickening out cos i dont wanna lose what we have over technicalities, but they're kinda important.

[carl1222]

I think that letting things progress slowly is a good idea. He doesn't seem too interested in finding someone else, and he has no history of cheating, so I wouldn't worry too much about Ms. MSN.

Even a year later, you are still very young. As time goes on, experience will teach you that all relationships have some risk. If you know that he is a decent guy and the straight-shooter he appears to be, be patient ... you can try dating again and see what develops.

Good luck

Carl.

[LailaK]

I don't understand what's so hard. Do you want him to date other girls? No? Then tell him that. Does he want you to date other guys? No? Then you guys should date each other exclusively.

That would then mean that you two are in (dun... dun... DUN!) a relationship.

You can still take it slow while being exclusive to each other. It sounds like both of you want that but because of your history both of you are too scared to ask for it.