I've been stood up... sucks

[okda]

Hi guys

First of all, let me give you some background information:
I met this girl one night when I was out partying with my friends. We really hit it off and I got her number, promising to text her the next day. The next day I texted her, we met at a cafe and had such a great time that we decided to meet again. We've now seen each other for about 1½ months in total (we're both busy students so we've only seen each other 1-2 times per week).

Last Friday we agreed to meet at my place Saturday evening but she never showed. 2 hours after the set meeting time I started to get anxious and to be honest rather pissed off as well. I texted her and tried calling her but didn't get any reply (I was very polite in the messages and asked her what had happened).

I tried texting her Monday as well and wrote a private message on facebook but still no answer. She's been active on facebook since Saturday, so I can see that she isn't dead or something.


What the **** is up with this bull****? I mean, OK, she apparently isn't interested in me all of a sudden, but isn't it common courtesy to at least give me a heads up about her suddenly changing her plans?
She ruined my Saturday and left me heartbroken, so how am I to react? I know it may sound retarded but to be honest I'd really like to get her confirmation that she just isn't interested in me after all.

This situation has left me in an emotional purgatory and it's one of the most excruciating feelings I've ever endured. How can one human being do this to another? Argh, I'm just so damn frustrated


If you have any knowledge or advice concerning situations such as this one then please share! I really need some help on how to act right now.

[madotnw_nihs]

My general advice is to never put all your feelings into (prospects) or early relationships. It only leads to getting hurt. I am glad that the first few relationships started well( as in the girls also liked me) . But if they didn't, I am sure I would have been hurt as well. Cheers Buddy

[BeingAlpha]

What more confirmation do you need than her ignoring you that she isn't interested? Move on my friend -- sucks of course she was probably pretty cool but apparently not that cool.

People do stupid things -- accept it.

[xxazurexx]

Crikey, you have only known her a month and met a handful of times....why be so devastated? Why be so heartbroken over some bimbo you only knew 2 minutes?

When you have gone 10 years down the line with a wife, have kids and your wife is ssrewing someone else behind your back, then come back and whine about how badly done to you were! You will then know what real hurt and devastation is!

[okda]

Yeah well, I guess you're right. I've never been ignored in this way before and I guess that's really what I'm so pissed off about.

BeingAlpha: I'm fully aware that she isn't interested in me. I just hate the fact that she didn't have the courage to tell me. What a coward.

xxazurexx: I guess that's just what happens when you like someone

madotnw_nihs: Good advice. I will try to be more cold in the future, haha

[JELEF]

Crikey, you have only known her a month and met a handful of times....why be so devastated? Why be so heartbroken over some bimbo you only knew 2 minutes?

When you have gone 10 years down the line with a wife, have kids and your wife is ssrewing someone else behind your back, then come back and whine about how badly done to you were! You will then know what real hurt and devastation is!

That's not entirely fair, now is it? Pain's relative and predicated on one's experiences. If he had suffered something worse before, he'd not be whinging about this. Thus, at the moment, all he knows is what he's experiencing now. Being stood up's still shite, whether or not one's been made to feel far worse from other events. Don't marginalize it. He's not being frightfully ridiculous at all. Seems rather standard for 20-something or student.

[VincenzoG91]

Getting stood up sucks, but it's better to find out early that she isn't right for you.

[okda]

Getting stood up sucks, but it's better to find out early that she isn't right for you.

Of course. I consider myself lucky :p

I honestly think it helped me dealing with my anger to write this post and read your responses. Thanks to all of you!

[JELEF]

Out of curiosity, you've got a Swedish flag under your profile. Is that accurate?

My friend and I had a bizarre encounter with two Swedish girls two years ago where we ended up being stood up as well. We met them out, they lived down the street from mine, had been in contact and everything seemed grand. We mentioned that we were doing a barbeque and they asked us if they could come. We set everything up and for like 10 hours they kept texting and ring to say they were on their way or something to that effect. At 11 PM they told us they were well hungry and would be round any second. We told them not to bother at that point. Then we'd see them out on the street or run into them at random places and they'd chat us up and go out of their way to be super friendly.

I asked some of my Swedish friends if this was normal because a similar thing had happened with a different group of Sweds. They told me it was normal and that they do whatever they can to avoid confrontation.

Could your situation be a case of that? At least she's not stringing you along at all and responding out of a sense of politeness or guilt.