Help me undersand this situation.

[Steel-Heart]

Hello guys, my name is David and I'm new to the forums.

Quite honsetly I never thought that I would have to go online and post about this.

Please read this somewhat short version and give me your honset opinions/answers. I am just trying to understand this situation a little better and possibly learn from any mistakes that I have made.

So a good friend of mine was getting married and he invited me to his wedding and asked to be one of his groomsmen. Of course I agreed. Then he said that his (now wife) has a cousin that is single as well as I am and they will pair us up for this event. I didn't think much of it and said sure. So fast forward to the day of the wedding, I met her that day and, wow... she looked amazing. She was pretty much just what I was looking for in a woman. I am 26 by the way and she is 22.
Anyway, we had a really good time at the wedding. Later on I found out that she had a boyfriend. Altough that didn't really stop us from enjoying each others company.

The next day after the wedding I felt a little bummed down because it doesn't happen everyday that I meet someone that I really liked. So, another day passed by and out of no where... I get an text from her... saying that she really enjoyed my company and if I was interested to hang out again, to give her a call on the number she gave me.

Well... at first I was happy but then I was thinking...what is the deal here... she has a guy. I simply replied that I did enjoy her company as well. I didn't call her though. So the next couple of days passes by and she texts me and before I know it... she calls me on the phone. Then she asks me if I can come with her to her friends engagement party next week as her date. I was quite confused and initally wanted to say that I don't think this is a good idea becuase of the fact she is with someone in a relationship.. but then I thought, what the hell... a girl that I really like asks me for a date... why say no. (perhaps a huge mistake)

Fast forward to the day of the engagement party. We took a limo over there as the party was rather big and official. We had a blast! I mean... I don't know about her but I probably the best time of my life with her than I did ever before.

Fast forward to the end of the party. The limo takes us back to her friends house for a sleep over. There is only four of us in the house... her friend and the date went to the other room and I was in a living room on a couch watching some movie. Then she comes over and sits on my bed.... and we just talked about whatever. All of the sudden she asks me to take off my shirt. I can almost feel my eyes widen but I keep it cool as I always do I asked... why would I do that? She goes... " So you feel more comfortable". Now before I continue...please keep in mind that I do appreciate morality and respect for myself and others. Also, I have a woman that I really like in front of me asking me to take the shirt off and also thinking that she is in a relationship. So... I said that I feel pretty good with it on. She goes ahead and grabs the buttons of it and starts to take them off. I grabbed her hand gently and said that... I really don't like the fact that she is doing this when her BF is at home. Well... she kept on doing it anyway... she took it off... gave me a compliment on the shape that I am in (which means a lot since I bodybuild ).

I pretty much said thanks... but then decided to take my shirt back on and told her that I am going to sleep now and she should too. So... as I fall asleep... at least trying to... my brain is going about 500mph. Then it slows down a bit...as I was bit under influence and quite tired. I say maybe 10 minutes later... I feel someone jump on top of me... I opened my eyes and of course...there she was. This time she didn't ask much for anything nor she gave me a chance to talk. We did go at it pretty heavily...altough having the breaks of a Ferrari that I do... I didn't have sex with her.

Fast forward next day. She texts me and said thank you for coming and spending the time with her.

Fast forward...we start little dating here and there. I did ask her that she really needs to figure what she wants to do because I really can't do this. She said she knows and she is trying to figure things out with her "troubling" relationship.

Fast forward... another party that she invited me over... similar situation.. altough I didn't make any move whatsoever as I know where I stand. So I am just trying to have fun and nothing else.

The next day I was driving her home, we made plans for the next date. After I drop her off... she sends me a text message saying " You are a really great guy and I hope that you had a good time but I don't think that this is going to be more than a relationship right now. I am in a really complicated situation and I don't want to pull you into it".

I replied... "I understand" with a smiley face. (that was stupid)

Another thing is... it has been about two months...and I deleted her number etc. but failed not to think about her at least once a day since then. I must admit that even though I was trying not to get emotionally attached... somehow it got me I think. I really can't focus on school, I stopped going out and every damn time I think about what heppened I almost can feel this constriction in my chest. I even started accepting this "New Me" who will be nothing but successful in life...but alone. What the hell is this.

I do appreciate your time reading this.
Please post any comments, advices and thoughts.

I would like to know what mistakes I made and what was ALL THIS about. Also, what I should have done.

Thank you.

[Poetic_Partner]

I don't really see any mistakes from you.

You had two choices - okay, three:
a) Do not let it get started at all.
b) Hang out with her a bit on the event that her current relationship is on the rocks.
c) Try and break up her current relationship.

Obviously, (c) is a non-starter.

You chose (b). It's problematic, but you (largely) kept your hands to yourself and she was the one pursuing. Near as I can tell, your actions were not immoral or unethical, though with the risk of heartache on your part (a) would have been the best move.

-PP

[Steel-Heart]

Hey PP,

Thank you for the reply. It is clear and straight to the point.

It definitely made me feel better to see it in this perspective and I agree with the choice (a) being the best one.

-David