Should I get back with my ex-girlfriend?

[sucka4love]

rocknroll, thank for your reply.

i really wish i could sit her down and have a calm conversation. but all that anger and hatred she built up on me for not proposing just comes all out. to her, the reason why our relationship didn't work was because i never proposed to her. all she repeats is the fact that i "rejected her" "ruined her life" "never committed" to her, etc.

i will try to talk to her and hope for the best.

what's really hard for me to deal with right now is the fact that i think she's started dating other people already.

[RockNRoll]

She could have jumped into dating to feel desired again, because she obviously needs to feel it now. Doesn't make it easier to see, though.
How about writing her email? You don't need to put everything there, just what you think will make her realise, that you was there for her and didn't reject it. Remind her that engagement/marriage is just a ring/certificate/status/party etc, which are important and nice things, but don't change anything about relationship. From what you wrote here, it seems like you are taking care of her and a child, and you was doing it before. Does she feel it? What would she expect from you in terms of care/attention, if you were married? Honestly, it feels horrible to imagine myself on her place, but I think she could excuse you for not giving her ring, but being with her, supporting her and actually willing to develop relationship. Actions are more important than a ring. Would she rather have a ring and never get any support from a guy?! Try to show her that even though you didn't fulfil one her expectation, you done some important and good things, which can be more important. Suggest to work together on getting over those bad emotions she has towards you, in order to be friends at least.
I am not saying that it's easy to do, just trying to give you some ideas, I really hope that you'll find some way!

[sucka4love]

sending an e-mail doesn't seem like a bad idea. it'll be a lot easier to get out everything i have to say without getting sucked into an argument. in the past, we've wrote a couple letters or e-mails to convey feelings because it was much easier than having to say it out loud. dunno how effective it'll be this time around though.

i can only imagine from her perspective how badly she wanted a sense of security and not being labeled a single mother. what girl wants an unplanned pregnancy and be alone? she had a rough childhood, left her parents home in her late teens and has been on her own for a long time. i'm tempted to just propose and see where it goes from there, but even that's a long shot as i'm guessing she'll reject me.

yes i was there for her and our child. but with all the arguing we did, it took a lot out of both of us. there were a lot of times i wished i wasn't with her and she probably felt the same. i myself was unhappy as there's only so much one can take with continuous blaming and arguing. for my ex's sake, she needed to be happy to raise our child instead of taking her anger out on me and our child.

in terms of being friends, that's where we are now i guess. as stated in a previous post, she's been nice to me and has gone out of her way to do things which gives me some hope that there's still something there, but i could be totally wrong. i'm continuing to be supportive in anyway i can.

this ish is hurting my head, but thanks for all the advice so far. it's really helpful me talking about all this...