Hello there,
I just wanted some advice on how to approach getting my ex-girlfriend back. We were together about 2-3 months. I'm 27 and she is 30. We also live 2 hours away from one another but made it work.
A little backstory: She suffers from endometriosis (where the "period" tissue from your uterus grows outside on other organs and such) and has a past history of bad depression. With the endometriosis, you need a surgery every year or two to get that tissue off your organs as it can eventually lock you up. Her dealing with the illness and the past depression I think leads her to be very independent in dealing with these issues. She is also pursuing a nursing degree.
We just had a long weekend together last week where she was feeling really sick (the endometriosis also causes her periods to be worse) and we spent the weekend doing next to nothing. However, I saw her in some very uncomfortable pain that kicked my "let me take care of you" gear in and I perhaps smothered her too much.
The following Monday, she said we don't work as a couple and she wants me as a friend. She said that she can't deal with a relationship right now with her illness and trying to get her degree. However, she says I'm an amazing person and she wants me in her life as a friend. The usual. I got upset, said we could make it work and right now it's over but we're both struggling.
I realized I made mistakes: I smothered her too much with texts/calls and smothering her while she was sick that past weekend (she commented she "didn't need a second mother"). Let me make it clear that the smothering is never in terms of jealousy but I get excited when I get in a new relationship and sometimes my heart moves faster than my head.
I have recognized this and I'm reading some books already and working my mind to take the pace off. One thing she commented was a need for space. I just need to learn to be better about fitting in between her school schedule and such.
Here's where the confusion sets in...
Anyways, after our "break-up" talk Monday night, she texted me about some tickets a few days later I had got, kind of business-like texts and then we're done. Then Friday night she texts me that she "gave her roommate the boot", I ignore it as I'm on the NO CONTACT mode now and to give us some SPACE. She text me again yesterday something about the tickets, I thank her and ask her how she's doing (as she's still sick) and she says "no good, how are you?". I then got busy and basically ignored that text and got one later saying "How are you???????"...just before bed I see one stating "I suppose you're ignoring my texts if that's the case I won't send anymore.Take care of yourself." I respond to that one stating I was busy and didn't have my phone. I get a response at 6 am stating she thinks that is "BS" in which I respond jokingly (my body clock woke me up at 6 am plus the text ring) and trade one or two text before I tell her to get some sleep and good night. What does it mean when she already knows I'm ignoring her and she gets upset? What should I do?
That leaves me to now. I have reflected upon us, I have reflected upon myself and her and the mistakes I made. I don't know if she knows how upset I really have been but she is already trying to text like "nothing happened" and we're friends. I want this girl back so I have been back to trying to play it cool but could use some advice on the next step. Especially since we're 2 hours apart (she does have family in my area which is a plus) and I have been trying to give her space when even she is trying to text me.
Thank you!