What is he thinking? Does he really want to get back together?

[Missy_B]

I would really like a male perspective on this. My boyfriend and I split 3 months ago and have been rocky ever since. We had limited contact after the first week of arguements, me wanting to get back together, him not. Our only contact was to arrange visitation for our son. We became a little friendly and had some nice conversations. After a couple of dates and day-trips, we decided to 'work on our relationship'. We were not back together but just seeing how things go. He did stress that it 'might not work out'. Things were going well then I had an arguement with him mum and he went into hiding. He has a tendency to bury his head in the sand when things get hard. He didn't speak to me for days on end and I was certain this was it. We managed to get talking again and after a week or so were back to 'dating' and 'working on things'.
Again, things were going well and progressing and then something happened. I won't discuss it on here and it didn't involve any cheating but it was a bit of a betrayal for my partner. It was NOT my fault I add but rather a misunderstanding from someone else that portrayed me in a bad light. He was so angry that I was certain if he was not that bothered about whether we got back together or not this would be his reason for him to leave completely. I was absolute that he would want nothing to do with me after this. Needless to say, after a week, we got talking. We were much cooler now, me not stressing to know everything that was going on in his head. I did, however, mention what our 'status' was. He said that he thought we were 'working on things'. He said he'd like things to be intimate, which to be fair was missing from our relationship from when our son was born. He had a huge issue with this. He said in turn he wanted to 'woo' me and wine and dine me again.
Since then he has made a real effort to talk to me, often starting online conversations or sending text messages. We have talked friendly and about intimate things so it's not always for 'sexy' reasons. But I don't understand where he is coming from. He has never mentioned going out together despite telling me he'd like to 'wine and dine' me. I don't know what I should do? I miss him terribly and don't want to give up on him too early or force him into a decision if he's not ready to make the one I want him to yet. Does he sound like he is genuinely working or things or just 'using' me? Would he make this much effort if he wasn't bothered anymore? Please help me. I'm getting so miserable through all of this!!

[youngcoder19]

I feel that you two shouldn't get back together.

First reason, is that he has never mentioned going out together despite telling you he'd like to "wine and dine" you. I have to admit, it's a cute phrase, but nothing good ever comes from a wine and dine besides sex.
Second reason, he took someone else's word over yours. If he truly cared about you, he would've ignored the other person and just focus on how you portray yourself to him. Not worrying about other things.

If you don't want to cut it off with him, leave him alone for as long as you can until he starts contact with you. That'll gauge how much he's interested in you and you can go from there.

[Missy_B]

The incident, without going into detail, was not just a 'person' saying something but is something legal that got blown out of proportion. I think my ex was frightened more than angry and once the anger from fear had subsided he wanted to continue from where we had left off. I'm town between two ways of thinking. My ex has mentioned getting 'intimate' and says it's something we lacked. This is true. Obviously, that is a big part of most relationships and in ours it was non-existant. However, I said that I disliked the fact that he only ever spoke to me to make intimate conversation. He has now dropped that all together and we are having conversations like we did as friends, discussing whatever. We are always nice and friendly with each other, more so than just being civil. However, he hasn't invited me out anywhere and, instead of pushing it, I am waiting for him to ask. Am I doing the right thing keeping my distance a little bit? I want to get back together because firstly, I was quite depressed when we finished and believe it made me act out of character. I did treat him badly and regret it. Before this we had a BRILLIANT relationship. And secondly, we have a child and to just throw that away seems unfair on him more than anything. I want to make it work and I believe that his actions I've mentioned show that things aren't 'over' for him. What do you think?