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Thread: So confused and heart broken, opinions please?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    So confused and heart broken, opinions please?

    Hi,
    I'll try and keep it brief. I have been in an long distance relationship for 2 years. Things were going great and we spoke about marriage and she was coming to my part of the world this week for a families wedding. We had kind of thought about getting engaged then as her family would be here too. She had told me stuff about her past that raised a few red flags with me however as we loved each other i was willing to not go there but wanted to discuss stuff so we can make sure the future will be good and so i know where she is now.

    Anyway, about 4 weeks ago she sent me an email saying that she 'can't pretend she will be ok without me and that she loves me etc and is willing to relocate to my end of the world etc'. I hestitated on my response as i still wanted to discuss stuff. Anyway after a few days i vented and said somethings i shouldn't have but it was pure frustration as i had waited so long and now she was giving my an ultimatum - she needed an answer within 4 weeks (when her family were gonna visit). I didn't hear anything back.

    Then i tried calling last week and she had changed her number. I got through to her work and then she emailed saying that she wants nothing to do with me anymore and i shouldn't contact her. I admit i made her feel rotten unintentionally by this thing hovering over us. She said she will always be fearful of me, but i said i just want peace and love if we go ahead and get married and these issues are better off discussed before. I last spoke to her last tuesday. This has been going round in my head and i haven't spoken to anyone about it, i'd love to get some opinions? I am so confused and heartbroken...

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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    California
    Posts
    52
    I don't know what you said nor how offended she is so it is impossible to give specific advice. But if you want to win her over you can send her flowers, love letters expressing your remorse. Flatter her and keeo trying. My friend chased a girl for three months after she dumped him.He wanted to be friends at the least, he was driven by passion but also loniness I think. But he won her over as a friend. Its a start.
    We learn about ourselves in relationship with others.

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