What do I do?

[Gavin]

Hey Everybody, I could really do with some great advice on what to do.... just a 'yes or 'no' will do in reply to my question and so I do not want to bore you with all the details the past and the current situation are all listed in brief points below:

1. I am on a course in a different area of the country and via a dating website I arrange and take a young lady out for dinner, this date goes great as does the second the day after... within weeks of spending our weekends together - we are together and happy.
   
2. She introduces me to her 4 year old son, she is looking at settling down and he needs a father figure - try to bond at theme parks etc - I always end up paying because she has no job which is killing me but we have deep feelings for each other already.
   
3. Very happy, I give her the best birthday she has ever had (her words) and help her to find her new car, very happy things all great etc... been together about 5 months now - the distance is a bit of a problem though.
   
4. Relationship is great... little spats here and there etc but somewhere the power shifts in the relationship and suddenly I am making too much effort... mainly driving half way across the country and this eventually leads to me complaining about it and her losing interest because I no longer represent a challenge as I make all the effort and I am the one chasing as well as moaning.
   
5. She won't make effort to see me... putting other matters first and my complaints lead to little arguments which when combined with her mum babysitting argument start the ending of our relationship.
   
6. Really hurt as she asks for time out and I make the mistake of refusing... she ends it the next day and after initial plea's by me to not do this I cut all contact including social networking site friendship - the lot.
   
7. We do not speak for two weeks.... I call her when I discover an item of hers in my car boot, she is extremley happy to hear from me and we spend the next few days talking. She has been meeting up as friends with a guy that she rejected in favour of me when we first met... he is also now getting over his relationship after he returned to his ex for one last shot - they spend two weeks talking about their ex's to each other....
   
8. We arrange to meet but she does like the other guy... I know this is a rebound on both sides but a good quality rebound who is local and who can give her constant attention and be with her while I can only see her at weekends - she rushes into it far faster than she did with me, I am heartbroken by this.
   
9. I call her one day... the new guy is their and paranoid about me, he tries to snatch the phone etc and I leave a voicemail. She calls me back and she tries to make me jealous, her new boyfriend is completely paranoid about me and she seems happy etc... I can do nothing but we chat and connect just as before and agree to be friends and send each other emails etc. I send an email... no reply though.
   
10. I decide that now it is best I leave it be and forget and move on with my life not expecting to hear from her again.... after 8 - 10 weeks or so I get a text asking where her emails are and hoping I am well, I get multiple kisses but I do not know what to do!
    
11. The girl I am now seeing has some baggage and issues and calls me that night to put our dating on hold for now, she really likes me and we continue to text / call etc but other stuff in her life and I knew it might be a problem is distracting her... this makes me want to call my ex and I do so.
    
12. Her son picks the phone up... hands it to his mum who answers but then hangs up - the new boyfriend is clearly there.

Now I do not know what to do?? I mean I did call her back etc... nothing from her to apologise since so the big question is do I text / email or call her again? or do I just leave it?? Friends say to leave it but she has in truth turned my head again after I was moving on with my life... my feelings for her do run deep.

What would you do because 'No Contact' does work but maybe that is the wrong thing at this time and in this instance although it is rude of her not to return my call etc.

What do you all think?

Gavin

[crazygirl]

It sounds like she took you for all you were worth and then left you. If she is now with someone else why would you want to maintain contact? Move on would be my advice.

[Gavin]

It sounds like she took you for all you were worth and then left you. If she is now with someone else why would you want to maintain contact? Move on would be my advice.

It really is nothing like that..... thanks for the totally rubbish advice, she got in touch and I do still care therefore.... YOUR ANSWER: Move on etc... *claps*

[crazygirl]

If she is with someone else, then your answer is right there. If you don't like advice then don't ask for it. She is using you, pretty obvious from what I have read.

[girl68]

Umm yeah you dismissed her advice becasue you didn't like it. Here's another peice- MOVE ON. Here's why: she ain't looking for a "father figure" she looking for anyone to play "baby's daddy". There's a big difference- you were played for a fool and you still want more. Goodluck, and enjoy should you choose to persue.

[xxazurexx]

It really is nothing like that..... thanks for the totally rubbish advice, she got in touch and I do still care therefore.... YOUR ANSWER: Move on etc... *claps*

If you don't like the advice/opinions being given, then why did you post and there is no need for insults.

Crazygirl is giving her view of the situation and you will hear all sorts of stuff, besides what you want to hear!

I'm gonna pass on this one and because you probably won't like what I have to say either.

[Gavin]

I would like to apologise to all...

I think I may have explained it all very poorly....

Someone that uses you does not cry over the phone when your splitting up - it was distance that killed us!

She texted because she missed me....

I know what went on better than anyone - it's my failure to explain correctly... simple as that.

Therefore instead of asking others... I will just act based on what I know which means leaving alone once again.

[crazygirl]

As a girl I can honestly say that we can cry even when we know we are in the wrong, she might be sad to lose you but it still doesn't mean she is in love with you. I am not trying to be horrible to you, but will you please just consider the possibility that it is your support she misses and not you for who you are.

[Confused81]

It sounds to me as though she is keeping you there as her back up plan. When her relationship with this new guy fails she knows if she keeps you close but not too close then she'll be able to go back to you when she is single again.

[xxazurexx]

I would like to apologise to all...

I think I may have explained it all very poorly....

Someone that uses you does not cry over the phone when your splitting up - it was distance that killed us!

She texted because she missed me....

I know what went on better than anyone - it's my failure to explain correctly... simple as that.

Therefore instead of asking others... I will just act based on what I know which means leaving alone once again.

Why did you ask for advice, when you already seem to know what went wrong and the solution.