Wondering if she likes me or just...?

[exilahfone]

I frequent a bar here in town with friends and there is this girl that works there. Now I'm pretty sure she is married but just seems like she is interested. I mean she stares at me a lot and is constantly smiling at me. She has tried talking to me but it was just about little nonsense things. All of my friends say she is obviously interested but I don't know and do not want to make myself look like an idiot. I'm just wondering what you guys think or if theres something i can do to find out if she really is interested or just really nice.

[veemeech]

hi..if she is nice to all the guys in the bar maybe it is just her nature..but if you are the only one that she pays attention to, well that's another thing..maybe she likes you..

[MerryH]

Something you can do to find out if she really is interested: ask her if she wants to meet up with you when she's not working.

You don't have to make sure a girl is interested in you before you ask her out. It's not going to kill you if you're rejected. And if you're not a bumbling nerd about it, you're not going to look like an idiot just because you asked her out.

[exilahfone]

She just seems like she secretly pays more attention to me, kind of shy about it I guess. All of my friends think the same as well. She is married and probably assumes I know so it's kind of hard to ask her out knowing that. But she seems like she wants me to so I don't know.

[XiaoHou]

You're pretty sure shes' married? There's always one thing to look out for when determining someones taken for good. That "ring".

[MerryH]

She probably doesn't assume you know anything about her. She's just the bartender at a place you frequent, not your friend. Move forward as if you know nothing about her.

[girl68]

She has the hots for you. But leave her alone man. You don't want the drama of the affair.

[exilahfone]

I sure she knows I'm interested, but the only reason I am is because I feel like she is interested. You just get that feeling when she's around or when she looks at you if that makes sense. She is married but maybe she doesn't want to say anything because she don't want to put herself out there as a "cheater" or a "whore" and is waiting for me to say something.

[MerryH]

I thought you weren't sure if she was married or not. If you're sure she's married, then forget about her. She's unavailable.

[exilahfone]

Well I found it she is married. But I'm not and married women do cheat regardless if you do or not. But it doesn't seem like she flirts or whatever with anyone but me. I mean do people do that just to see if they still got it? She's young, a year younger than me, and I'm nowhere close to wanting to get married. I have never been in this position although if I knew she wasn't married I would already have asked her out.

[MerryH]

So now you're sure she's married, but you still want to go for it?

Then may I suggest you walk up to her and say, "Hey, I know you're technically unavailable, but I don't respect your marriage or your husband and I think you should cheat on him with me. Pick you up at 7?"

[trouble_sleepin]

Well I found it she is married. But I'm not and married women do cheat regardless if you do or not. But it doesn't seem like she flirts or whatever with anyone but me. I mean do people do that just to see if they still got it? She's young, a year younger than me, and I'm nowhere close to wanting to get married. I have never been in this position although if I knew she wasn't married I would already have asked her out.

Honestly, please save yourself the frustration and look elsewhere. There are a lot of single women out there. Good-looking, smart, and sweet SINGLE women. You might not be looking to commit to her at the moment but are you willing to risk developing feelings for a woman who could never really become emotionally available for you?

[exilahfone]

Yeah I know it's wrong but I'm not necessarily the one putting myself out there. I was never interested until she started giving me hints or at least I think. I know it's not right but that's not what I was asking. I guess it would be best to keep my mouth shut, let it go and just do what we do at the bar lol.

[girl68]

Yeah, you should. Are you desperate or something? Why does her interest mean you automatically are? Find a girl you're actaully interested in.

[exilahfone]

No, I'm not desperate lol. I'm not horrendous looking (at least I hope not) and I can usually talk to girls just fine. I just find it easier to like someone if they are really into you. This girl is very very attractive and seems nice but I usually don't hit on girls unless I get a hint to and I feel like I have been. I haven't said much because she is married. If she keeps the little hints going or she gets more aggressive becaue I'm not, I guess I will know. I'm not even sure if I could really let myself do something like that if it came down to it, as I have never been in that kind of a position.