To elaborate, I am a long-time atheist who has fallen in love with a devout Christian girl, and despite our vast differences, we are completely retarded for each other and get along amazingly well. I previously had no intention of ever getting married or having kids, but everything has turned upside-down from this relationship.
Here is the issue: I approached her about the idea of getting married and she responded that she could not marry anyone who did not share her belief in God. When our children begin to ask existential questions, she does not want to have opposing beliefs. She says she loves me and would not leave me if we could not marry but we would not have children. She ultimately wants a large family and I cannot be her boyfriend for years and years without being able to meet the standard of her ideal mate and not being able to facilitate her desire for children.
This just breaks my heart because I want to be the man she wants me to be, but I have a solid disbelief in the metaphysical. I studied a handful of religions in college and I can't find much truth to mysticism and it would take flying whales or something for me to believe in God. Something crazy and irrational motivated my lips to say that I would try to find God and tomorrow I'm going to church for the first time in ages.
I don't really know what I'm asking. I just need to hear some feedback on the situation. I want her more than anything in the world but if this is silly and I need to back out of this, please let me know with good reasons. I'm clearly not thinking rationally.
TL;DR: I'm an atheist. She's Christian. I want to marry her but she wants me to believe in God first. Don't know what to do. Need feedback.