Hello ladies,
I'm standing in front of a dilemma and I need your help to understand the mind and actions of my previous girlfriend.
I have already posted a topic with not many reactions because of the fact that it was too long.. If you have enough time and are willing to help me, you can find my post in the section "love advice" with the title "Getting back previous girlfriend who has new boyfriend.
And for those of you who don't have a lot of time, this is the summary..
Me and my girlfriend began dating 4 years ago for about 2 years. 1 time she broke up with because of the fact that she wasn't certain about her feelings, but we got back together.. The last 2 months of our relationship were filled with irritations so we broke up.. I never had the chance to talk about it with her, because it would go away after some time she said, but it didn't..
Now in the 2 years afterwards, a lot of things happened so I will keep it short.. 2 months after our broke-up she tried hooking up with a good friend of mine (she got some attention from him) behind my back etc.. I asked her for some time alone to process everything and each time we met, I got feelings again.. So I asked her again to minimize the contact to get rid of these feelings..
6 months ago, everything went perfectly and were meeting again, having fun, even flirting.. She asked me to call her again and that we should meet, I did and arranged a date.. This time I said that she should call me, but she had a lot of things to do for school, but really wanted to see me.. But she didn't call or anything, just sometimes on msn messenger to say things that happened.. I got sick of this and tried to move on with the thought that we were never going to date again.. In this time, she sometimes contacted me to tell stuff about her life, but never asked me out again..
2 months ago in a conversation that she initiated, I told her I would be having the best vacation ever because of some events and the fact the I would not see her for 1 whole week.. She thought I ment it, but I was actually joking, but at that point I thought that she knew this..
1 month ago.. She told me she was seeing someone else, a friend of mine.. Well not a close friend like before, but still.. She wanted to stay friends etc, but I told her that we haven't been real friends since our breakup and that this was not the time to change this because she was dating.. A few days later she asked me to go out for some icecream but I said I was busy and maybe in a month or so if I felt like it.. The day after she started talking again and I asked her why she so desperatly wanted to meet and she told me she didn't want to lose everything that we had with each other (by accident she bumped on our pictures and started browsing through them she said and just lost all of the frustrations she had then) and we started talking a lot about our relationship and feelings we had during and after our breakup.. It was a really nice conversation and I thought she wanted me back, so the day after I said that I was able to mee this weekend.. We went to the movies and a drink afterwards to talk..
She explained that I misunderstood it and that she was happy with her current boyfriend and that it was still fresh and wanted to see where things were going.. I told her that I couldn't see her because the fact that I probably would be getting feelings for her again and that it all would be different if she wasn't dating.. We again had a really open and honest chat and she even started crying when I said these things that it was hard for me to see them and that I felt that she didn't gave me an honest chance to get back together or even as friends and that I regretted the fact that we didn't talk sooner and she agreed.. I told her that I would call her again if I felt that I was ready to have contact with her again, but she still was asking me to think about it and so I told her that we should not meet, but a little talking on msn messenger was ok.. 2 days later I came online and she began talking to me again, just some chitchat and then I told her that I needed time and should call her when I was past this point of how I am feeling now and when I REALLY wanted to see her...
I still have the feeling that if we had these honest talks before she started dating, we may have a chance together.. because when I told her about the vacation without her, she realised I was over her and all her irritations were finally gone..
I really regret it and I am still young, but she really is the one for me and when I look in her eyes I see she cares for me and wants to see me happy! She told me that I deserved the best and shouldn't be ok with less and that I would do everything for my girlfriend..
Why does she want to keep the contact so much and as a girl, what do you think that she is feeling with al of this and her feelings towards me?
I really need a female opinion on this and I hope you can help!
Thanks a lot!