the "L" bomb

[fairygirl13]

the other night, while cuddling, my boyfriend said, "i don't want to freak you out, but i'm pretty sure i'm falling in love with you. i don't want to scare you with that word though." i responded by telling him i felt the same way and that it didn't freak me out in the least, that it made me happy to hear him say that.

my question is, he hasn't mentioned it since, and i really want to say "i love you" to him, but i'm not sure if i should. i get kinda insecure and though he brought it up, he never said "those three words" specifically. the 12th will be 4 months we've been together.

so should i say it, or bring it up to him? or should i just wait for him to?

advice would be much appreciated.

thanks guys.

[smackie9]

Give it a little more time. It's obvious he's a bit insecure too.

[Gratedwasabi]

Wait. Make him say it first. In my opinion, always wait for the guy to say it first. Why? If you say I love you to a guy, we'll say it back. Regardless. I've done it and felt like a douche later, but I was terrified I'd hurt her feelings or lose her if I didn't say it (and believe me, some girls FREAK OUT if you don't say it back, regardless of how okay it is "if you don't say it back.") A nice guy almost always says it back. Let him say it first.

Also, I HATE the "falling in love with you" line. It's really unnecessary and just puts pressure on stuff like "wait, you're falling in love but not there yet? Does that mean I need to try harder? Are you telling me to buy you more gifts? WHY?!" Anyone else dislike that? I say things like "you know, I'm crazy about you" or "I've never cared about someone like I care about you" or "you make me incredibly happy, I hope you know how amazing I think you are." I don't like dropping the L word just as like a warmup or something. Sorry for the mini-rant!

[cloudfa]

if you hear the words in your head you gotta say it.

[precisi0n86]

You should judge him by his actions and not by whether he says the "L" word or not to you. Some guys are just a little shy to do so, it doesn't mean they don't feel it, you might blind yourself to his true feelings if you associate "love" with him saying it to you.

Saying I love you is just a cute habit mostly. I told a girl after a few weeks that I loved her, she told me that she felt the same (so the same situation as you). It was a bit awkward at first, but I started slipping it in at the end of conversations and when I was leaving. Eventually she started saying it to me also. It became a habit, and stuck with us until even after we broke up! So don't take it too seriously.

[Take2]

My bf said almost the same exact thing to me, and I responded the same to him. It was about 2 weeks later that he told me he loves me. I say wait, let him say it first.

[girl68]

I said it first, but I said it first knowing he was on the close to saying the same thing. And yes he did say it back and he also ensured me he wasn't saying it because I said it to him.

You already know he's close to being on the same page as you... given that I'd say go for it. However if he never implied that I too would be advising to wait.

[Incognito]

I don't really see why it matters either way because it has only been four months. I'd wonder if whomever said it after four months truly knew what they themselves felt. That early in a relationship there is still a strong sense of infatuation and everyone is trying to put their best foot forward to please the other person. Lets see if he is saying that he loves you after a year, then you both will have a better idea of how you both really feel.